my life is so...ugh

2011-04-10T16:04:00.003+08:00

ohkay.... so after a 5 year hiatus i am forced to use this for a while because lj is down, which is ridiculous (how can i be blocked from my own BLOG?) but righty we shall not ponder the ironies of da intarwebz. anyway hope no smart people decided to rss this so it'll be like a private post! :D anyway yuck this gross coloured screen has removed all my longing to rant -_-

eh wl !!! matty makes mixes for rachael I NEED SOMEONE TO MAKE ME MIXES TOO :< hahaha SIGH

2006-10-23T07:03:00.000+08:00

ehh. okay. so, the EOYs are over. OOH OOH OOH AND RS IS OVER! YAY!

bah. this is so screwed. i think i screwed up all the exams i prepared for. but i am quite confident for the papers i didnt study for. this is scary because usually when i say ooh i think i didnt okay ( LIKE THE BLOODY @#$!!#$% CHINESE EXAM LAST YEAR) i do really really badly. AKA fail.

nooooooooooooooo why why why did i remember to bring in my panadol menstrual for all the other exams but not the GEOG EXAM WHEN I REALLY NEEDED IT. like just before the last question, i could feel blood spurting out of my vagina. (yes i know, not something you want to hear. whoops)

anyway, i had the FREAKIEST DREAMS ALIVE. okay the first one was on last last saturday.

i dreamt that mr chew was killed. and then i saw him with scars and blood on his face. omg it was daaaamn freaky. then we went to the egg farm, and instead of the guy with wonky teeth and whom i thought said " i will evaporate for you" ( i was like O_______O it turned out to be elaborate). yeah anyway. instead of that guy, it was DE SOUZA! and then we were suddenly in school and i was next to Joyce Yap and i was talking to Cat and she was being a mega uber bitch. and i was like why is cat so mean ): ): ): and then I HUGGED JOYCE YAP.

okay then the second one was last night. i dreamt that i didnt know that we had choir or something and then suet called me and she was like SAMANTHA! WHERE ARE YOU! and she sounded really pissed. and then she played a note on the piano and she was like WHAT NOTE IS THIS! TELL ME WHAT NOTE THIS IS! and then i couldnt hear it cause the computer lab was so noisy so i barged in and saw de souza teaching 208 and i screamed SHUT UP I CANT HEAR THE NOTE. which is really really weird.

why is de souza turning up in all my dreams?
mildly disturbing.

2006-09-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

ohmygosh chanel is amusing and slightly disturbing.

Artemis Fowl says:
what do you want?
Artemis Fowl says:
(sth affordable please *begs*)
sam <3 baby its hard to believe; says:
CAT
sam <3 baby its hard to believe; says:
CAT
sam <3 baby its hard to believe; says:
I WANT CAT
Artemis Fowl says:
............................................
sam <3 baby its hard to believe; says:
I WANT CAT
sam <3 baby its hard to believe; says:
SHE IS AFFORDABLE
sam <3 baby its hard to believe; says:
SHE IS FREE
Artemis Fowl says:
i'll buy you a toy cat lol
Artemis Fowl says:
O__O
Artemis Fowl says:
HAHAHA WHAT, make her wear a bunny suit, stuff her in a gift box, and mail her to you?

heehee. i want. i want CAT. i want deborah( oh deborah the cute one) and jiali!
i hope i dont get stuffed toys.

--------------------------

today's SMP was interesting. i was really interested by the breast cancer presentation, but it turned out to be sort of inconclusive so ugh. haha saw boey ying's brother! she looks much much better than him, we shall say. the tea reception tasted REALLY REALLY GOOD (probably cause i was so HUNGRY). we kinda went crazy and binged on fried food. buttery croissants!

then after that we went to wisma food replublic to fulfill my prata craving but in the end i didnt eat prata -.- because jessica felt guilty and made me feel guilty too bah.

THEN WE WENT TO TAKA FOOD HALL AND WE FOUND OUT THAT YOU KNOW THE ARE NEXT TO THE FOOD HALL? it was selling mooncakes! so jessica the mooncake lover (her babies haha) went crazy trying and I THE CHEAPO TAGGED ALONG.

i refuse to try non-snowskin mooncakes they are so .. cloying. BAKERZIN MOONCAKES ARE DAAAAAAMN NICE. the light purple one. the rest were weird.

MOONCAKE TRYING! IS <3 <3 <3

i need the Nivea Cellulite thing. " Hello sexier you."

2006-09-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

and Samantha tries to tell herself that she should be preparing for EOYs. only 5 weeks omg! and i keep telling myself there's nothing to study yet, should wait for the teachers to teach but omg theres already so much for HISTORY ahh. but he goes through the rev a lot and hints A LOT so yay.

but geog omg i dont get anything. and math i thought angles was going to be really easy but omg i dont know how to do some questions on MY FIRST WORKSHEET so confirm die.

ehh but tomorrow vic is coming back and BRINGING OUR CHOCOLATES and will unscrew our Lit PT. or so i hope. ehhhh i really dont want to play Romeo and I hate Victorian clothes they cause me to be so maluated like 209+FIONA because she barged into 209(in a vest+frilly shirt+miniskirt OMG)+THE HISTORY TEACHER because we all thought there wasnt History.

wth.

as of now, i have only memorised like 8 of my lines.
okay shit i cant remember any. except that.. she doth teach the torches to burn bright. and something about cheeks, night, rich jewels and Ethiop's ear. ehh i cant remember how its phrased URGH.

oh wth i m so pissed with myself. on Monday i saw cat, passed her her letter. Forgot to return cheongsam and pass her Laudate pueri score. so today passed to her cheongsam AND FORGOT TO PASS SCORE WTH IS WRONG WITH ME!

and i forgot to bring quan's note. and didnt give guiqi's wallet. and tomorrow have to collect leggings and bubble shorts from shzehui(if i can fit it will be a MIRACLE. please pray for me :D).
My mornings are for running errands/doing homework that i didnt even know existed until a few minutes before hah.

And I look forward to chocolates from Venice.
and I say, 16 more days. OMG ITS IN LIKE TWO WEEKS AND I HAVENT PLANNED ANYTHING. and i need to get geet.

i want rent. and i want the top from Zara which i still have not got URGH for various reasons.
i need clothes. and studs, cause i keep losing them.

2006-09-10T16:42:00.000+08:00

ahhhh i love john partridge! okay fine. his voice. I LOVE HIS CAHRACTER IN CATS! AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ooh just googled him. he looks weird in person. he looks kinda chikopeh. :/

OMG this morning i went for a bazaar thing at my church, then there was this guy from my cathecism class. then he was like sort of looking at me while he walked so i was like trying to be friendly and know my classmates better so i was like hi, and then he looked away and walked past me.

HELLO I KNOW I AM FAT AND UNATTRACTIVE BUT I THINK I DESERVE SOME RESPEC TOO YOU KNOW. HELLO IS THAT RUDE AND SUPERFICIAL OR WHAT? bastards. i am pissed. okay i guess this sounds petty or whatever, but i dont like feeling dissed. and that makes me feel dissed. feeling dissed makes me pissed! yay for logical sam. ARGH SCHOOL STARTING tomorrow.

ehh i am totally in the holiday mood. and vic's not coming to school tomorrow. ahhh okay if she sees this she will have a humunguous ego boost and repeat it all the time so heehee it will be transparent. AHHH NOBODY TO LAUGH WITH ME WHEN I SCARE JESSICA. i miss vic already. ): i didnt go out with her this week! i think i ll miss her a lot next year, when we're in different classes. vic is actually really nice, and easy to talk to and joke with.

eh okay going out with my mom again! yay. will pass cat her letter tomorrow. i realised i have the weirdest taste in guys. i like the flashy guy in cats. flashy guys are supposed to be shunned. and a p5 boy who is sweet, but still p5. and CAT THE CURVY adorable thingy.

yay.

2006-09-07T14:38:00.000+08:00

Samantha is angry. Samantha is annoyed. Samantha is tired. Stupid Wikipedia wants to delete my entry. HA but I caused Raffles Voices entry to be THREATENED TOO HA. HA. HA.

Samantha is giving up on the Wikipedia entry. She should go finish her draft of the RS Lit Review that was due last Friday, which was 6 days ago. !@##&@#$%

Ha it was funny at first Eliza was mental and high and giggly after her coffee. And she was like in some drunken stupor and giggling and smiling at strangers HEE.

Samantha went out with Eliza yesterday, and felt very inferior and fat after Eliza made her try on a TANK TOP WTF. I could see that Samantha was very distressed by her surplus of fat. She does not like the large amount of lard she has. She feels weird, so she is talking weirdly in the third-person.

It was so tiring. I had to take notes of what Eliza said i had to get, which is

2 tank tops ( 1 neutral colour, 1 other )
1 cardigan
uhmm shorts? Cargo pants?
A white blouse
The blue button top thingy from Topshop.

Shopping with is Eliza is very very tiring. But on a happy note! I bought my hairband! Which squeezes my head! But nevermind! Because I have a hairband! And we bought Suet's and Geet's presents! I LOVE SUET'S PRESENT BUT IF MY PARENTS SEE IT I. AM. SO. DEAD.

we met shihua. who embarressed me by screaming, HI WEIRD GIRL! okay fine, not screaming but STILL.

And for once, ELIZA OWES ME MONEY! (:

OMGOMG I SAY I MET SUET YESTERDAY. hey it sounds nice. OMGOMG I SAY! I MET SUET YESTERDAY! :D but it was so coincidental! because after i took down notes we were discussing who we wanted and didn't want to see. And we were like hmmm want to met suet. and we met her. but we meant alone! not with her scary friends! THE SHOCK MADE ME RUN AWAY. not uhm some fear of her. and eliza maluated me by saying something gahh.

then we went to Paragon where Eliza ate her lunch at Thai Express. And because i already ate my lunch I didnt order anything. SO.. I THOUGHT OF ACRONYMS FOR CAT WHILE SHE WAS EATING!

I came up with Curvy Attractive Tentacle. The conversation continues below:

ELIZA: there another noun that rhymes with tentacle. and starts with T.
ME, a leetle too loudly: O.O uhhh tit?
-people from other table look over-
ELIZA: NO! you have rhyming issues!
ME: uhh Theresa?
ELIZA: NOOO does that rhyme? the first three letters are the same. and it has the same last three letters.

HAH GUESS WHAT IT IS! And she said I sounded like a sick old man trying to fulfill his sick fantasy when I said I wanted to see Cat in her school uniform, bah ):

I AM NOT SICK! I AM NOT OLD! AND MOST OF ALLL... I AM NOT A MAN!

i am looking forward to friday.

both my blogs are dead. AND OMG WTH WHY IS EVERYONE SO HARDWORKING.

2006-09-03T13:26:00.000+08:00

[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
MUSHROOM!
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
O_______O OMG NO
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
after quanana, you have no right to say no mann
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
but its better than sammigirl.
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
OMG DIES
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
AHA
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
well, i don't intend to call you that.
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
i think mushroom suits you
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
eliza calls me that.
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
-.-
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
MUSHROOM SUITS ME.
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
HOW?!
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
aha.
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
erm how not?
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
same way circle suits me what!
sam <3 your loving is all that I need says:
i am not a fungi!
[c=#FF0080]quan - 6A'02 <3! [/c] says:
nah, you're a parasite

whaaat? omg i m a parasite! that's like saying i m head lice. EHH THAT IS GROSS.

2006-09-02T17:33:00.000+08:00

OMG LAST NIGHT I HAD THE GREATEST DREAM EVER.

I dreamt that I was _________. And _____ liked me. And __ _______ me.

OMGOMGOMG THE GREATEST DREAM EVER.
I havent had good dreams for 123543674 years.

Ehh today we volunteered at church and stuck flowers in sponge for Our Lady's Procession tomorrow. Fun! :D

Ahha I think it is damn amusing my friend told me when her choir went to China for the Choir Olympics, they went to a Catholic church and they say that during Cathecism lessons there, all they did was sing Chinese songs praising the GOVERNMENT O____O

2006-08-31T23:16:00.000+08:00

I 've been wanting to blog about this for so long. Its hard to make friends with really nice people, because then you dont know whether they're treating you as a friend, or just as an acquitance they're putting up with and be nice to because they're too nice not to.

): What if they're trying subtly to drop hints to me! That they don't like me and want me to stay away! I am not a good hint-reader bahh. Okay like what I said to Chanel one day, if you want me to stay away and not bother you anymore, just say Happy Father's Day to me.

What is wrong with me! Maybe I'm just too over-analytical of what people say and do. It's unhealthy.

2006-08-31T18:13:00.000+08:00

Teacher's day was so amusing.

Yay letter! Letters are always good. But Jessica ponned school. Again. It's kinda expected now after she ponned National Day Celebrations, Racial Harmony Day and other school stuff. ):

Aces day thinggum kinda sucked, what with the girl totally not knowing the steps WITH THE PAPER IN HER HAND and the teacher next to me trying to thwack my boobies everytime I got to close. Haha Bala looks funny, with her boobs having the reaction time thingy going on (you know when people have so big boobs that when they move their boobs jiggle like crazy like 5 seconds later).

Teacher's day concert was.... very. painful? I'm sorry, I just think that that girl.. needs help. Ugh why am I so mean! But my friend said she sounded much better during rehearsals and stuff so maybe its stage fright? And she takes voice lessons! Which means she is rich! Voice lessons are expensive! I want voice lessons! Sitting in the gallery is good because Fiona and I were observing the seniors' expressions slowly turn from hmm-i-hope-this-girl-is-good to OHMYGOSH-WHAT-WAS-SHE-THINKING (Ahaha this applies to Suet mostly). Fiona and I were like AHAHAHA whyyyyyyyyyyyyy whyyyyyyyyy whyyyyy!

But the handbell girls were cute. (: Elaine bwahaha SO CUTE! i lubbiewubbies elaine. Elaine we shall make lubbiewubbies together (;
Right.

J TOH! Ohmygosh J Toh! He! is! so! cute! (Geet thinks he is sexy O_o) He! is! so! cute! I so miss Philo lessons with him ):

Ugh in the morning I was so pissed! I met uhm one of the Alto 2 Sec 1s in the morning, and I tried to act all friendly and say Hi and wave nicely, and she like dismissively nodded her approval. Wth I am so pissed! Like hello, rude much?

Ohmygosh there was this ickle kinda plump and sweaty girl who came up just before Pseudonym was performing, and she was like repeating, PSEUDONYM IS PERFORMING! over and over again histerically and she PUSHED VIC AND JIALI APART AND STUCK HER SWEATY BODY THERE. Obviously Jiali was too nice to say anything, so I was like trying to hint by saying really loudly," Ugh I hate it when people just cut into other people's classes space." And she pretended to not hear it.

Eh then Vic, Eliza and I went out. Bah at Zara I got kinda moody and pissed because they were like saying how poor/stingy my family is, but I really don't see the point of splurging on clothing when I grow out of clothes SO. FAST. Like yeah. Bah.

Then we went to Cineleisure to watch Click and before the movie we went to play air hockey. I hate the stupid thingys that you hold they are so slimy! Sortof. And I had no hand-eye coordination and arm strength, so uh you can guess that I didn't do very well. :/

Click was so sad! But the beginning was funny! I think the guy's daughter is really really pretty when she grows up! And no the moisture on my shirt wasnt tears, it was uhhh DROOL! Yes that's it! DROOL! Ohmygosh I feel so cheated of my feelings like the ending was sweet, but dumb! It's like I uhhm drooled for nothing. But I think Adam Sandler's a really good actor.

The people behind us were so annoying. Like when the people were having sex they'd scream EW SICKKKK! Or laugh really really loudly.

2006-08-28T17:09:00.000+08:00

BBALL SEMIFINALS
EE okay Fiona and Guiqi if you see this, I am really sorry! Its just that I thought it was the Bbal FINALS --> no more school events to support for the year --> cca points gone --> Bad.

[to my defense, i asked stacey and she said it was the last event to support for the year, so .. ohwells. ]

Sixuan was CRAZY. seriously, i have never seen such an enthusiastic supporter. She was cheering like crazy and she didnt want to leave to accompany me to the toilet. she was like the break lah, wait for the break. :/

FLAG DAY
my first flag day ever. we met many people, like tina chung and chris slatter, who recognised us in our uniform SO HAHA THEY HAD TO DONATE.

some people thought i was from evergreen secondary on account of the shirt i was wearing. :/(orientation tee)

CATHECISM
Eeks. Our last lesson on sexuality. Omg how sad is that I missed 4 weeks of the funnest module/topic! rawr.

I think I really changed the people's perception of RGS girls, because i contributed a lot of weird stuff uhh that wasnt.. very clean, to say the least. and they were like o.O

heehee.

confirmation, sigh. i really really dont think i will be spiritually ready yet next year. My faith isn't strong enough! I wish i could just be like Mish, she places her fate in God's hands so doubtlessly and ..faithfully? But my Cathecism teacher said that when you're 14, most people aren't mature enough and that Confirmation is the beginning, not the end.

Its hard not to see Confirmation as the end, especially when Cathecism stops after that. I highly doubt that I will be active in the Catholic community, sigh. But I think being in the Ministry would help me to grow a lot, like spiritually and in maturity, if there is such a word.

Eee but the bad thing is, if I want to volunteer in the Ministry, I'd want to volunteer with Risen Christ church, but the problem is, its not my parish church, so my mom is against it. But I already am starting to develop friends there! Bahh.

SCHOOL
Ooh this morning I met Sneha! Again! I love meeting her in the morning, it really brightens up my day to laugh when you're all sleepy and sluggish (:. Hope I meet her there again tomorrow.
(And I didn't meet Minsi, which is always a plus.)

Eew today during History it was all fine until THE CHEW started poking the marker in his nose. I counldnt control my mouth and I was like EWEWEWEWEWWEWEW really really loudly and I was like staring at his marker, so the whole class turned to stare and he turned really really red and tried to like cover his nose and stuff.

OMG I feel super bad now. I just maluated him in front of the whole class.

Mrs Yap was nice today (: I like Mrs Yap.

COOKIES
Gahh should I give 5 cookies to Quan as a late birthday present, 5 to Peiying as a birthday present, and 5 to Geet as a late farewell-cum-celebrate-end-of-EOYs-present?

Or 6 to Quan, 6 to Peiying and 3 to Geet?

Okay looking at it I shouldn't give Geet anything, but well agh I promised her something during Farewell because I didn't give her her condom so :). All this is because of Famous Amos' policy of only selling 100 grams, because it bankrupted me. So to get my money's worth, I am reduced to this sad, sad method.

Grah. I need an increase in my pocket money, dammit. 17 dollars a week is barely enough to drink Milo on, much less EAT.

I looked so loser today! With my frizzy ('parakeet') hair and high high belt, schoolbag, and socks and walking through Orchard by myself looking lost. :( Rawr. Bah but I have to walk alone sometimes, I guess. But Tongmin saw me and she was like looking at me pitiyingly :(. So when I saw a RGS girl's pinafore at the Famous Amos counter I thought it was Tong Min and I was trying to hide. THEN IT WAS VIC! (:

To whoever comes here, no I am not abandoning my blog. I am a sentimental old fool. Bahh who am I kidding anyway who wants to read about my long-winded recount of my boring life.

CAT IF YOU SEE THIS I WANT MY LETTER ON WEDSNESDAY! rawr. (:

2006-08-22T20:15:00.000+08:00

really, sometimes i wish choir wasnt such a big part of my life.

i think i have a problem. why cant i be a normal person! urghurghurgh. i wish i didnt talk to people that much. then people wouldnt think i m weird. URGHURGH URGH.

EW why cant i be a normal person! urghurhgurgh. OMG I SPENT LIKE 12 BUCKS TODAY I FEEL SICK. i tell you, going out with vic and eliza makes me splurge. peer pressure i tell you. i shall never go out with them again. they always suggest places that cost like 15+ bucks plus to eat. totally out of my budget! :/

ahhaha this friday i shall go out with.... mish! okay maybe not, but i want to go out with like fiona or guiqi. OH YES. GUIQI. i havent talked to her for really long.

i think i am quite freaky. i actually write down a list of people i want to get closer to and write down steps to get closer to them. currently on my list is fiona, guiqi etc. (those mentioned in the post earlier). i am so pissed! there is no choir for like really long until prague practices when it will be like really intense like SYF practices thus there will be no time for us to learn Salmo 150! and that nice song Fiona was singing and Suet promised to teach! rawr.

eeee i totally screwed up Chinese this morning. like omg i only used one chinese literary device for BOTH QUESTIONS I AM SO DEAD. and my comparisons are completely screwed. like they showed a view of underwater world the many fishes swimming about. and i said that the fishes were like noodles in soup because there were probably as many of them as the noodles in soup. crude translation, but whatever. and then the second picture was of a sun rising/setting and but only the sky around the sun was orange and the other part of the sky was black.

so i said that it was like an orange on a black tablecloth, its juice staining the cloth slowly. and it is white, so it is like the eyes of heaven/the sky going blind because it is white. OH SHIT THE TEACHERS ARE SO GOING TO BE LIKE huh what is she talking about or give me like 2 upon 12.

my life is so over.

OMGWTH I AM SO PISSED MY MOM JUST WALKED PAST AND SHE LOOKED AT THE SCREEN AND QUOTED 'my life is so over' and snorted. eeg. i feel sweaty after seeing what i wrote WHY CANT I WRITE ELOQUENTLY AND NICELY LIKE MISH. her letters (in sec 1 anyway) are so focused (not digressive, anyway) and coherent! my letters to Cantankerous Adorable Thingum are so .. random. eeks.
omg SHIT. ugh ugh ugh. i realised that i act very impulsively, ('without inhibition') and then afterwards i regret it a lot and i worry which is bad. urgh really, why cant i be normal! like a normal quiet girl. like uhhhh.... shzehui. or mish. not that quiet, but not loud, and would never be considered weird or anything other than nice.

eeks.

2006-08-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOSH NO CHOIR UNTIL LIKE WEEK 8? but why! that's like 11 weeks! i mean, there are no exams for the sec 1-3s before term 4 starts what. i want choir i want choir i want choir! OMG I HAVE NO PURPOSE IN GOING TO SCHOOL ANYMORE i think i come to school solely for choir!

urgh i want to learn laudate properly. and mbiri! omg i LOVE MBIRI. and suet promised to teach salmo 150! and that song that fiona was singing and it sounded quite nice.

omg i love geet i love geet! yay we shall plan the barbeque together and i bet more people will go now because she is a senior and she will persuade the sec 4 batch to go and i will persuade the sec 2 batch! OMG I LOVE GEET haha.
(GEET I BET YOU TOTALLY CRUSH ME LAH.)

2006-08-19T18:49:00.000+08:00

okay this is very very random but OH WHY WHY! why are people singing the school song/national anthem one octave lower! i mean, okay transpose it. but sometimes they transpose it WRONGLY! why! why! why!

Speech day
today speech day was rather stupid because we were supposed to come at 7:30 to warmup and we did nothing until 8:40. the horrors! i was supposed to copy history notes, finish reading two books and possibly mug history. i really do overplan myself. but anyway.

oh mish looked so so weird today. i was like is that mish? and today was highly scary i almost wasnt able to pass the camera to mish to record. (ZAN MY LIFESAVER!). oh yay i love mish she videod it from a mush nicer angle and she did some artsy things with it like panning in and out. and this time CAT SOLO with the accompaniment could be heard! (:

ahh i feel quite sad i have drifted apart from sneha. i havent really talked to her since i shifted sections. but today during lunch sneha was so sweet and funny (: <33. but then she left at one and left me to talk to thashi. which i actually dont know and we got into an animated conversation about wanjoo and zan's crushes. (i just realised it is mildly scary how i talk to people i dont even know o.O)

this year i think i have drifted apart from guiqi fiona and michele and sneha and mavis. and suet. ): but today';s speech day i think i got a bit closer to a lot of them, so yay! (: but i got closer to mish chanel cat geet jac this year. (: is happy. i still want to get to know boey better, and peiying better. and quanquan. i really want to go out one-to-one with her, because i can tell that she's a nice person and i kinda regret not really getting as close to her these one and a half years as i liked. okay my personal goals in choir will be to get close to these people again and get closer to SHIAO i do not want to regret again ahh.

oh cat's mom is very haha cute. cat was like totally pushing her in front of boey and me and "mumbling" to her mom that we were her juniors. i am amused. eeeeeee i was hanging around after speech day because i didnt want to go home and mug history (OMG HOW GROSS).

i think xiumin still hates me. from last year when i was sort of obsessing over her, oh crap i think cat will be like that towards me next year when she comes back to visit. oh crap i really really must step up the drastic plan. oh i know. DO NOT INTERACT WITH CAT FOR ONE MONTH. starting from.. 20th Augush. OH WAIT NO! then i cannot remind her to buy my birthday present.

oh uhm uhm hinthint MY BIRTHDAY IS ON 28th of SEPTEMBER. yes i am very subtle thank you!

our rs is screwed BEYOND BELIEF. i think ms chun is exceptionally nice to our group actually, because she doesnt want people to say that she hates me cause she's teacher in charge of our CCA. but urgh i really think that cassandra should stop promising stuff that is really impossible to deliver and SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR. like a draft of the report? she didnt even ask for that! she only wanted new drafts of our lit review and methodology. ugh okay i am really pissed at myself. i cant believe i forgot about the meeting and studied geog.

i think the amos guy in my cathecism class is really sweet and gentlemanly. okay random, but i feel i have to say this because ugh the guys i know are being MAJOR JERKS.

i hate myself. i think too much about things that are already over and dealt with and closed. (mish you know what i m talking about). its true. i really need attention, because i think that's the only way i can reaffirm that people actually like me. i put up a facade in front of other people, and act extroverted and confident, but its just to cover up the fact that i m really really insecure.): sometimes i feel like i m really selfish, because i need people to say they love me to actually believe it.

i think it stems from the fact that my dad used to say that i would never make friends because i m mean and petty, so now i cant believe that people would actually be so nice to me and be friends with me. such wonderful people would actually pick ME to be their friends. i think i am so blessed. thank you lord, for giving me such supportive friends. who put up with my stupidness my blurness and all. i really, really love you. i dont think you all will ever know how much you mean to me, especially my batchmates. (: i love you guys.

thank God i found you.

2006-08-18T20:49:00.000+08:00

there are many overdue things i have to talk about because they mean a lot:
Choralfest outing on 8th August
It was just quite honestly a very perfect day. National day celebrations --> laughed at Eliza, saw her grooving and videotaped it so i could blackmail her with it!

Speech day rehearsals--> Recording of Incog video which honestly wasnt their best performance. ZOMG THE ULTIMATE SIN: THE FIRST PART OF CAT'S SOLO COULDNT BE HEAR. outrageous i say. suet's voice makes me envious even though it sounds kinda nasal and stuff because her voice is all trembly and quavering and it sounds like she's going to cry/crying and it makes me emo! ahh.

Oh my gosh it was a humunganoid ego boost. Eliza and I were walking to LJS in cineleisure and they saw us and started screaming SAM! SAM! SAM! and yibei suddenly started running towards me. AHHH i miss yichan and shaq and yibei! and sihui! and shusze(okay i didnt really know her, only that she thought i was cute and uhh was yibei's friend). yibei left so early! we went to the arcade which was quite weird because we were in school uniform(eliza and i) and i had to wear eliza's brother's jacket which was very uhm.. manly smelling. and big omg it almost covered my pinafore and made it look like i was wearing a dress.

ugh and we walked to takashimaya and hung around in the food hall which is always a big mistake because i almost always give in to temptation and buy gelato which is bad because i waste money. and according to jiali it has like a huge amount of this fat that they dont have to announce i think its trans fat ahh!

Chinese pt
Highly maluating. Jiali's lameness astounds me. when the proverb ren2 shan1 ren2 hai3 came up we stuck pictures of paper on our arms and uhh moved like waves. and other extremely LAME and CHEESY actions which i cannot remember now and were very very very anxiety-inducing to do because cat's cheongsam's slit was so so high. when i sat down i totally flashed. so i was scared i would flash the class during the presentation. i hope i didnt. i looked like a potato sack with extremely hairy and fat legs. the cheongsam was SO TIGHT at the neck that the button kept on undoing itself. but it was so loose! eeeeeeee. and then the chinese teacher insisted on taking photos with us o.O but she forgot about Q&A HAHA I AM HAPPY. ingenious me thought of the costume idea.

Math and Geog tests
Math gave me a sense of God's greatness today, because i had only like 5 minutes left and i didnt know how to find the length of something, so i prayed for the Lord to let me see the figure and somehow know how to do it. and when i opened my eyes, i knew HOW TO DO IT. okay its sounds really little and stuff, but i havent really experienced a miracle like this before so i am still in awe. i have to learn to turn the Lord for help and not let pride put me down argh.

OH GEOG WAS SCREWED GEOG DIE GEOG. eee i screwed it up gross.

My getting over Cat
As of tuesday 15th of August, i am officially over cat(unofficially is another matter but heehee). MUST DIRECT ATTENTION TO QUANQUAN. hope the obsession gets transferred to her or something.

Mish and today and Batchmates in general
i love mish! ahhh talking to her today after choir was very relaxing and exciting. and fun! ahh she looked so squishy and haha cute. i havent talked like that for really really long. I LOVE YOU MISH! and today i saw a side of varsha i have honestly never seen before. maybe i just bring out the weirdest side of people haha.

today's choir practice was so dead. and they were praising us on our 'discipline'. its just that the atmosphere was so so dead that we couldnt even be bothered to get up. everyone was so sluggish and lethargic, and it really really showed in the music. UGH.

haha suet's head is seriously mutated on the cca board.

My weight and disgusting body structure
eww i really really need to cut down on my fat intake. i seriously dont know what is happening i eat about the same stuff i ate in P6 and my stomach is just getting bigger and flabbier by the day! AHH MY METABOLIC RATE. but i hate exercise. honestly. running and samantha are complete opposites. they should name the two poles of magnets after us or something. exercise and samantha repel.

speech day tomorrow must bring camera.

2006-08-15T21:17:00.000+08:00

ee okay trying out Arial. today was choir practice after so long! like the last choir practice i went for was last last thursday. :/

ohmygosh our rs is so behind schedule and we keep lying to ms chun! ahhhh i really meant to give her the portfolio on tuesday but ahhh shiying didnt bring her notes. and oh man we supposedly promised her a draft of the rs report WHICH IS STILL NOT STARTED, and another lit review draft (OUR 4TH). and oh have i mentioned our portfolio

i think i have this fear of people knowing me too well, emotionally/mentally or whatever you call it. its very scary because i am a highly confused individual, and when people know you so well, its highly unsettling, and hmm sometimes frightening. eeee okay emo post over. AHHH today laudate pueri was kinda screwed because many many people were not there on friday.

2006-08-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

uhm a very cosy picture. of quan in suet's lap. right.
i should really crop this one.
QUAN LOOKS SO CUTE. ahha whoops you'll have to tilt your head i forgot to rotate it. THWEE!
cat! okay not a good photo of her but its the most.. presentable one. without me.
thwee. OKAY her body looks quite disproportionate from this angle. whoops. her head looks undersized.

ZOMG QUAN LOOKS SO CUTE! thwee shall update other farewell photos when my dad allows me to, sadly. i shall now go pray for my period to arrive.

PRAY FOR ME! THWEE!

2006-08-11T18:46:00.000+08:00

i am quite worried. why is my menstrual cycle so out of order!

thwee. chinses pt meeting today was quite fun. shall blog about it later.

2006-08-10T22:42:00.000+08:00

i am, i have realised, a very very extreme person. (of course, that might be the hormones.)

i have not gotten my period since the 21st of June. can someone please calulate that for me and tell me how long that is?all i know is that its pretty long, since i usually have 20-day menstrual cycles. creepy.

and well, i just want to say. THANK YOU CAT FOR the 4-hour and 43 page+ convo. i love you.

2006-08-09T16:17:00.000+08:00

i really really really dont know what to say. its really soothing to talk to suet, with her calming voice in your ear while you are somewhat freaking out over why your files refuse to zip and ZOMG DISAPPEAR.

but i digress.

i feel really really stupid, because what she said about our batch really made me see things that i think i noticed, but i blocked out. because i couldnt take it, and i didnt want to realise it. i realised that attitidude and passion ISNT everything, and just because you are all committed to it doesnt make you a good batch. you need talent. i really really thought that we could make this year's concert busking. we put in SO MUCH, and it was so tiring. we gave so much, but we have nothing. i feel so stupid because actually at the end it was only eliza and i who wanted concert busking. i really really thought we could do it. and i now i know why we couldnt.

rawr i feel really confused now because what i am saying now doesnt make much sense. if i had an lj, i would make this a cut, so people do not read if you do not want to be more freaked out at sam's weirdness and incapability to sort things out clearly. sometimes, i think suet knows me muchmuch better than i know myself. and that is so scary because that is NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

the cat obsession began to take roots at the beginning of the year? WHOA THAT IS SCARY. and it might be deeper than i thought. i thought it only officially started after AMC with mish.

gah. gah. gah. i really really really. dont know what to say.
as for choir and how its changed; well i dont know its not a THING you can describe, like oh choir has now sprouted two more growths or something. its a feeling, and feelings are hard to describe.

but is it just me, or doesnt the choir seem more dead? its so.. different. RAWR! its scary. i dont know. but choir just doesnt seem safe anymore, like choir is being less and less the haven i retreat into 3 times a week. somehow i get the feeling something big is going to happen, and the feeling aint good.

and she told me that cat is only human and she makes mistakes. hmm i thought she was hinting at something else, so WHEW.

i really really miss talking to suet though. its just really nice to talk relaxedly with someone, going off tangent all the time for one and half hours. (: i love you suet.

ZOMG but after that i dreamt it was farewell, except in the co room. and cat started crying, and mish asked me to take a photo, and i said no thats just mean AND SHE STARTED CRYING and i started crying and then when i walked out of the co room after farewell everyone came up to me and BURNED ME. it was so freaky!
----------------------------------
zomg yesterday after speech day rehearsal, i started obsessing about cat again, and guiqi said," sam, do you pray to cat every night?"

we must have looked so stupid listening to a CAMERA. but the recording sounds surprisingly good at home. and no the video is not up yet. BLAME YOUTUBE. now only i can enjoy cat's cuteness. I RUB. I RUB.

2006-08-08T07:03:00.000+08:00

ZOMG TODAY I SAW MINSI IN THE 190A BUS AGAIN. whywhywhy am i so unlucky! okay MINSI freaks the crap out of me. as in online its still okay because you dont have to look at her scary face. gahgah i hope i dont see her in the bus anymore. its like yesterday we were practically walking beside each other to school and we couldnt even make eye-contact, and i didnt dare to start a conversation with her because of the BAD MEMORIES OF THE SEC 1 CONVO. the atmosphere was so tense! rawr. and also because i hate small talk. the convo would probably go:

ME: so, are you going to prague?
Minsi: No.

i am so maluated. i think minsi thinks i am some sort of mutant in a human body. maybe not even in a human body.

but anyway, WE CAN SEE ELIZA SINGING ONE OF THE ICKLE SONGS FROM HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. ha. ha. ha. and i am getting a letter from cat later! yay! zomg my whole class looks so pretty. and i am in school uniform. partly because I DONT HAVE DECENT RED TOP except for the UBER-TIGHT RED TOP and the I LOVE SINGAPORE BOXY TEE.

bwahah cant wait for choir 3 outing later. YIBEI! I LOVE YIBEI! AND YIBEI LOVES ME! yay! i think she's really nice. oh i just realised i have posted up choralfest photos. or have i? hmm. WAIT I DID.

i wish i were normal. yesterday i blog searched victoria loke. or vic loke. i cant remember. and this weird post about someone whining about how big ehr boobs were came up and I STARTED THINKING HOW OUTRAGEOUS AND WEIRD THE PERSON IS.

and i looked at the URL and it was my blog. !!! i am weird that way (and sometimes psychotic, but that's another matter.).

2006-08-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

i feel so stupid and disappointed with myself again. i need self-control, dammit. i need to have the courage to say no, even to friends i really dont want to let down.

i think i have a blogging addiction.
4 letters to go.

2006-08-07T16:26:00.000+08:00

ZOMG I FEEL SO PISSED I WROTE THIS WHOLE LONG ENTRY ABOUT CHOIR AND 101 AND 209 AND MY SUBJECT COMBI AND I NAVIGATED AWAY FROM THIS PAGE AND NOW IT IS ALL GONE! GONE! GONE! i am pissed.

i am really going to miss 209. its one of the nicest and funnest classes ive been in and i m really going to miss you guys. as in our class has a lot of nice people, and a few MAJOR BITCHES. and those people really really really piss you off. but i shall stick to the many nice people yay.

gah it is damn sad the four of us are going to be split up.

ZOMG TOMORROW WE CAN HEAR CAT AGIAN. i obsess. wait. no obsessing.

2006-08-06T13:58:00.000+08:00

There You'll Be

When I think back on these times, and the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad cause I was blessed to get, to have you in my life
When I look back on these days, I'll look and see your face
You're right there for me
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the skies
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me, And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be
Well, you showed me how it feels, to feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all, the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through, oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the skies
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me,
And everywhere I am there you'll be

Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength
And I wanna thank you now for all the ways, you were right there for me
You were right there for me, oh, yeah
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the skies
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me, And everywhere I am there you'll be And everywhere I am there you'll be There you'll be.

2006-08-05T21:01:00.000+08:00

my plan to change the way people look at me.

PLAN #1:TO NOT BE SO OBSESSIVE OVER CAT, DEBORAH AND JIALI

Cat: Do not talk to cat at all. do not do weird things like squeeze her butt. just give her her farewell letter and leave. do not talk to her. no hugging. ahh remember no hugging. or talking to cat for a week.
Jiali: Talking is allowed, but do not exclaim about how cute she is/how hard her boobs are/ how nice and adorable she is. Only discuss homework and not sexually provocative stuff.
Deborah: Saying hi allowed, but no hugging. or else i will squeal crazily at her adorable cuteness. and no talking or else she will make me laugh and i will be more ovsessed again.

PLAN #2: TO NOT BE WEIRD. TO ANYONE.

This means no freaking out people with weird faces for a week.
No butt-squeezing.
No prancing around the class.
Give very politically correct answers. Especially during history class, so i can change bryden chew's perception of me as the sleepy freak.
uhhhhh. NO dry-humping.
be quiet. be quiet. be quiet. be quiet. remember. be quiet and introvert. do not speak loudly.

zomg i hope i can keep to it for a day.

--------------------------------------

ZOMG TODAY WHEN INCOG WAS PERFORMING THE CCA TEACHER IN CHARGE GOH WAS GROOVING WHEN they WERE SINGING THE RAMALA SONG (cat's solo!). ahh it was so distracting and painful for my eyes! THEY ARE BLEEDING.

2006-08-05T19:41:00.000+08:00

today was very depressing. i felt so antisocial. rawrrrr.

who am i kidding anyway. who actually comes here to read about my life? i m just this entertainer to you. I BET IF I DIED NO ONE WOULD even notice, much less miss me.

i wish someone loved me. the idea sounds so appealing. someone who thinks about you almost all the time and misses you. and enjoys your company.

i sound like some loser.

2006-08-05T19:19:00.000+08:00

NOTE: z

No smoking around sam. Thankyou for your co-operation.

2006-08-05T18:51:00.000+08:00

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN IS SO SWEET! but the first half an hour i was like, where is this going? the ending is so sad. so sad!

"the truth is, sometimes i miss you so much i can hardly stand it."
"we never have enough time, never enough."
"you've no idea how bad it gets, and I'm not you. I cant make it all on a couple of high altitude f***s once or twice a years."

ahhh its so sweet when ennis cried! ahahah!

zomg at least i know someone more obsessed with me. KAYLEIGH IS TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH THE C DIV NETBALL CAPTAIN CHARMAINE. zomg she'd go "do you think charmaine is pretty? i think charmaine is pretty" 20 times like every 5 minutes.

GAH then she did it in the canteen. hello can you blame me for screaming ZOMG KAYLEIGH SHUT UP. and it sounded really loud. GAH THEN SNEHA AND CAT TURNED AROUND. I WAS SO HUMILIATED. ):

cat looked so cute on stage! ah ah ah! okay i think she is quite freaked out by this obsessive junior of hers. or maybe she sees it as a huge ego boost. :/

anyway, i got closer to kayleigh today again. i ve been drifting further and further from her since the beginning of this year and that's damn sad.

i miss the sec fours.

2006-08-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

I M A-DDIC(K),
I M A-DDIC(K),
I M A-DIC(K)ted to you.

i find that very amusing.
nayhaha. and now the amusing episode during math.

me: miss ha, the nameless worksheet is mine.
her: this isnt your first time you know. and when you write your name, you always some up with some very creative forms of your name like sammigirl and samster the hamster. or you leave it blank and think all blanks belong to you.

ZOMG SHE CALLED ME SAMMYGIRL. I SWEAR I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN THAT ON A WORKSHEET BEFORE.
--------------------------------
zomg. rs. i was so scared! i went there right after assembly and ms chun wasnt there. then i called again half an hour later. and she wasnt there again. i was so scared she'd be really pissed like the other times so i went to the choir room 2 hours later and explained to her. and she was really nice (surprisingly).

inter-house badminton was traumatising. i was called a loser by vic's friends :/.

i think jiali is really nice. and we are getting closer! jiali is the love.

2006-08-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
eh CAN YOU STOP ANNOUNCING THAT I BLOCKED YOU
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:

sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
i changed my nickname!
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
and wth you totally compare notes with your batch!
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
THAT IS NOT GOOD
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
hahahahaha
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
heehee.
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
YOU SUXORS.
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
cheater.
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
i don;t!
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
hahaha
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
i was like so happy like ooh .
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
then i saw guiqi's note.
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
!!
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
hers was printed!
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
it was pretty!
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
rawr.
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
ahahah
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
but mish was whining about how she got a printed one.
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
ahahahahaaha
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
IT FELT DAMN GOOD TO WAVE IT IN HER FACE.
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
aiyohhhh i love her as much
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
(:
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:

cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
i love all of you as much!
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
NO.
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
ahahaha but section mah
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
YOU LOVE ME THE MOST.
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
so must special
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
ahahaha
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
-_-
sam; SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE NUCLEOTIDES. says:
remember that.
cat. so say goodbye <3rgschoir/incognito says:
yes okay i love you the most

YES. HAHA CAT I AM NOT POSTING THE REST FOR A REASON.

2006-08-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

FAREWELL

yesterday was very sad. because the sec 4s are very bonded. and we are not like that. ):

somehow i dont feel very sad for farewell because i think i will be seeing all of them for prague. but it wont be the same.

agh. i think cat is really really nice. and quanquan is really really really nice. AHH I LOVE QUANQUAN! but i love cat more so there. :) i wubb you squishy suet! and my MOMMY sneha. just because i have an asexual name doesnt me i am asexual! rawr. (:

I HAVE A HANDWRITTEN NOTE FROM CAT! I SHALL WAVE IT IN FRONT OF ALL THE SEC TWOS AND MAKE THEM THINK THAT SHE ONLY WROTE A HANDWRITTEN ONE FOR ME YAY.

heehee. SHE IS SO CHEATER. the 1st part is like personal but the 2nd part is totally copied from whatever she wrote for the rest of the choir.

whatever.

-------------------------------

okay now talking about our class which i havent talked about for a very very long time. I LOVE VIC AND JIALI AND JESSICA.

i love you vic! even though sometimes you seem like you arent listening, you always are. and okay actually that's quite scary. but uhmm <33!

JIALI is so adorable. her eyes are so big. and when she laughs she is so adorable. i just feel like smooshing her. JIALI is so nice. JIAJIALINGTEH! whee. whee. whee. whee. i love jiali. she is so cute. and i think she's like the nicest person i have ever met.

jessica is uhmm haha nice to bully. and i like freaking her out. heehee. (: <33

our clique is very small. zomg this sucks. geet & minsi said that their friends think that i am weird. ):
--------------------
cooking today was fun. vimilyn was very amusing because she freaked out a lot (like when the sink was clogged, or when the meat which was supposed to be cut like hog dog buns almost got split in two, and when the sliced apple dropped on the floor and i suggested washing it with detergent.. well you get the idea).

"Well, I wish I could partner Sam. I can look past her freak-Jessica-out faces, her incapability at most things kitchen-related and her warped ideas of stuffing mashed potatoes and chicken into the same plastic bag."
vic.

today was very fun when we thought we could partner each other. then stupid chinese menopausal woman had to make her change back. ahh but at least i had vim.

i am very dangerous with a fruit knife. i sliced vim twice. once because i was walking with it and accidently grazed her arm, and twice because i was going to chop the apple.

it must have been very amusing to see us cutting the green apple for the apple crumble. we practically took turns to jump up. i would cut her and she would jump up and i would cut my self and i would jump.

today's cooking was.. stressful, but i think i work better in stressful conditions. (:

i love jiali. and vic. and jessica.

and cat. but i think she blocked me. ): rawr.
-------------------------
oh today was so scary i thought they called a morning assembly because they found my condom! especially the part when mrs Prama came to address us she was like

"Girls, you must learn to be responsible. in school, in work in every part of your life. [blahblahblah] some of my staff members have told me that they have found.. "

I WAS SO SCARED HERE I ALMOST SCREAMED. but i hope cat likes her condom. (:

crap. 6 letters, and 2 more bags to go.

2006-07-31T19:40:00.000+08:00

AGHHH! i have found out that the box of condoms isnt as big as i thought. so i am just giving suet and or cat. okay actually it is quite big. I AM JUST SCARED THAT my parents will find out. -.- ahhh!

GAH SEC FOUR FAREWELL TOMORROW!

geesh. i hope i can still remember them next year. its quite sad, because this sunday i was looking through last year's concert notes, and i didnt remember chiu kuan. gah.

ZOMG CAT IS SO ADORABLE. and the chewy cookies were.. chewy! i think i liked them a lot not because they were like really really good, but because i havent eaten chewy cookies for -gasp- a year plus. since they took away the tollhouse cookies. I WILL BUY TIRAMISU TOMORROW.

and i will make jessica come with me haha. i tell you today she really binged. like 3 bags of cookies and 2 muffins. vic, jiali and i were snorting like crazy. NYAHAHA.

jiali is so adorable! i really want to see what her brother looks like. (: DEBORAH MY LOVE YOU MUST LET ME PHOTOGRAPH YOU TOMORROW!

ahh sec 4 farewell. 11 more cards to go.
crap i wcrewed up cat's present. DAMN I AM GETTING MORE AND MORE INFATUATED WITH HER EACH DAY. she is so. VOLUPTUOUS. i will make her write to me.

ahhhhhhh! zomg sec 4s dont go! crap i hope i dont cry tomorrow. if eliza cries i will definitely cry so PLEASE ELIZA DONT CRY. i hope i can get a picture of cat crying.

2006-07-29T21:58:00.000+08:00

today's cathecism was really. insightful.

i really think the part about homosexuals was really good, because they surprisingly didnt judge them and say that those people are confused about their sexuality. i mean, i feel really sad for lesbians and gays sometimes because our society is really heterosexual, no matter how open they say our soceity is.

"the church usually segregates lesbians and gays because it is not in the Bible. But God still loves all of us, whether gay or lesbian. Just try not to lead an active gay lifestyle."

"It is wrong to look down on gays and treat them as lesser human beings".

"Whether the guy you date is a good guy or a bad guy, he is still a horny guy. only that good guys have this much [peers into tiny gap between fingers] self-control."
------------------------------------

aghhhhhhhhh. i am not in the sec 4 missing mood because i am still in this surreal state. like farewell is still a loooong way away so dont think about it or else i will get all emo.

aghhhh i cant believe it! i am still decideing what kind of format i should write my notes in. like what paper and stuff.

2006-07-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

geet trying to act cute and camera shy. PUH-LEASE! (:

cat's uhmm GUESS.
i insist that i look sweet.
AHH I THINK THIS IS LIKE THE MOST AMUSING PHOTO EVER.

eww she looks like a rabbit. and i am sorry wanjoo to have had discovered that prefects wear skirts and not culottes. my eyes. ow.
alto 2 sec ones. VARSHA IS SO CUTE. (1st from right.)
jac. and AH! AH! AH! my one true love.

alto twos. (: can you see me?

what's the difference between a guitar and tuna fish?

you can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish!

<33 size="1">and i am trying not to stress over THE ISSUE. thanks peiying.

2006-07-24T20:25:00.000+08:00

grah. i feel annoyed, because people dont take me seriously. okay people might snort because they'd be like WAH SAM ALWAYS PLAYPLAY THEN SUDDENLY WANT TO BE SERIOUS.

but its been in me for really long. ugh i mean just because i am outgoing and stuff i cant be sad or serious? which is why i always feel like people arent there for me. and stuff. and i get bullied a lot.

I AM JUST TIRED OF THE WORLD. in a week or so i will love it again.
yay. i try to say joyously.

oh freak. the sec 4s are leaving next tuesday. UGHHHHHHHH. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i dont even want to think of what choir will be like. i mean i m not really close to the sec 3s or sec 1s. and in my alto section i m only close to geet, jac and CAT.
and shuyu because we always discuss the standard of choir and what's wrong with it. and how its different from other choirs.

i mean, with shuyu, i feel like my view is IMPORTANT. it matters, at least to her.

oh gosh. i think i m suffering from post-choralfest blues.

i am so tired. i want a break. from life. and school. today was.. annoying. jessica was being bratty.
neh. i love jiali and vic and debb. and jessica.

HAHA THE SEC TALK WILL BE INTERESTING BECAUSE OF US. BECAUSE WE ASK QUESTIONS LIKE HOW DO GAYS AND LESBIANS HAVE SEX. nyahahhahaha.!!!

is amused.

grah.grah.grah.

2006-07-23T19:52:00.000+08:00

Syaq A2 TKSS gvanizo-syaque@hotmail.com http://lyfeworthlivin.blogspot.com
Yichan A2 NY somethingimperfect@hotmail.com http://sealedkisses.livejournal.com
Eunice A2 RV sagittarius_291191@hotmail.com http://yeapie.ebloggy.com
Adeline A2 RV adelinetyx@hotmail.com
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2006-07-23T10:37:00.000+08:00

our shoes! eww. guess which is my leg.

eliza! and zengjun! okay she looks weird here.

sixuan! ahhh complexion.

i m too tired to blog about every photo which i look disgusting in. -.- nyah sad.

yichan said that there is something good in everyone. NYAH THERE IS NOTHING PHYSICALLY GOOD ABOUT ME. i mope.

2006-07-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

AHHHH. Choralfest was so fun! And I got to see a side of Zan I have never seen before. AHHHHHHHHHHHH THE GUY IN THE PEITMONT CHOIR IS SO HOT! Korean blood! Hot! Nice complexion! HOT! Defined jawline! HOT! Ahh! And zan crushes him too. Which I find amusing.

ZOMG THE PLUMP GUY IN THE JC CHOIR BASS IS SO CUTE I WANT TO MAKE HIM INTO A TEDDY BEAR! And the guy in choir 1/3 is really funny. And fierce. But whatever.

i hate tsubasai! i m standing next to the tenors and basses and you can smell the GUY SMELL. yes it is smelly. and it makes me nauseous. but the allegra girl is really nice.

ZOMG TODAY WAS FUN CAUSE I REALLY GOT INTO THE SONGS. ahhhhhhh i dont want choralfest to end! i m in holiday mood again.

but what i hate about choralfest is the people identify you by rg girl this rg girl that. like today people called us rg girls come here! like hello, i have a identity! gah it pisses me of when people do that. but anyway, i can see our section is opening up. YAY! and yichan is really nice! and i still remember that time when i told mish that she was UNREACHABLE. but now she just thinks i m weird so whatever. i have this feeling that yibei shaq and sihui think i am bimbotic.

2006-07-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

choralfest was fun! but i feel really stupid because i went to vch instead of ccab and i spent 7 bucks on the cab. ZOMG I ALMOST CRIED LAH!

but anyway. then eliza and i were talking animatedly, and suddenly yibei, sihui and shq said that we talk in a very rg way. okay. right.

2006-07-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

i feel so insignificant. damn. i used to wake up every morning with the idea that the world loved me (if not the whole world, at least a big part of it). and now i m finding that i am more and more wrong everyday.

you toy with my feelings. and i keep telling myself i wont give in to your niceness. but i forgive so easily, and i start to like you again. and i trust, but i keep thinking, will i be hurt again? call me weak.

damn you. i love you too much to give up on what we have and you know it.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
i don't know what to say, i'm numbed because of all the things that have been happening. and i guess my personal problems have shrouded me out too so i can't say much to help you now. because this is how things are, and things change a lot. something like that, i'm so sad i tell you.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
and sam i'm sad too because you didn't really take me seriously when i said i was sad today. i mean its REAL you know. i know you can't help it if you don't know how to comfort me! but sometimes some friends of mine think a person like me all bubbly and blah would never be sad

, so i tried to be like you. says:
and they think i'm joking or seeking attention when i say that

, so i tried to be like you. says:
but the thing is, when i say i'm sad, IM REALLY SAD. because when i'm just abit sad, i wouldn't tell anyone

, so i tried to be like you. says:
i'd fix the problem on my own.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
but i couldn't today.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
i was too tired. emotionally.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
okay.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
i m really sorry.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
i just.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
i was really confused.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
yeah precisely.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
we're in the same boat.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
we can't help each other out until we fix ourselves out.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
and you know what.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
it shows.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
i've been observing all you batchmates.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
it seems like everyone's a little hurt somewhere.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
no.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
but i ve solved it.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
and even though we smile and laugh and joke with our new friends.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
there's still that pain.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
oh.

, so i tried to be like you. says:
oh?

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
there's still a little of us.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
that hurts.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
and we smile. and prance, and act bimbotic and crazy and stuff.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
and try to hide it.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
to make it go away.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
but it doesnt.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
and then you go home.

sam; disappointment. i thought i knew you. says:
and it hurts even more.

----------------------------------

i need to be loved. like sixuan says. when the whole world sees you as a bubbly, high and crazy girl all the time, i m sort of.. dehumanised. and they dont realise that you are sad and stupid and have low periods in your life. they just think you're not being serious. i feel so fake. today was a total facade, trying to cover up my hurts.

but confusing as this is, i still love you. and if you really need anyone to talk to, i m here. i hope, as much as i can.

2006-07-17T20:49:00.000+08:00

i just feel.. really disappointed.

i thought i was the one who could be there for you.

it really hurt me when i saw your post. i read it, and i couldnt believe what you were writing. and i read it. and read it. and it hurt so bad.

i thought i knew you. but i didnt.

when you trust, you always get hurt.
---------------------------------------------

i know i m immature and loud. i show my emotions. but that's part of who i am. i cant just grow up for your sake. and if you cant accept that. well, i dont know.

i know everyone will be like sam is such a emo loser.

so call me weak. i m just tired of this week. its brought out the best and worst in people, and honestly i dont want to see anymore.

if you hate me, just pretend to be nice to me.
-------------------------------------------

i m irresponsible. i m childish. i m blunt. i dont floss.

so sue me.

who do you think you are anyway.

2006-07-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

today's open house just made everything so real. you know at the ny concert,peiying said, what if we get silver and i thought it was outrageous. and today made everything clear.

you know what its just so hard to keep discipline. i know i am one of those people, maybe the only one who keeps on telling themselves that 'oh i want to bring the discipline up' then at the next choir prac its like oh WHO'S PULLING UP PEOPLE'S SKIRTS? WHO'S TALKING AGAIN?

but its so hard, because you love rgs choir so much, and you love all these people in it. I mean oh dont talk for the whole choir practice. i mean, choir will be so dead and our singing will be so dead. I love singing a lot and it is one of the main reasons why i love RGS choir so much.

its so sad because you can see that this week the choir's atmosphere has been well, kinda tense. And that's just the beginning. Hopefully.

this post is so contradicting and stupid because i am feeling very confused right now about what i am feeling. i love the rgs choir a lot, and i do want to brign the discipline up, but it really requires an iron will. I mean its like usually throughout the week, especially seniors, you usually see them with their friends so its quite maluating to suddenly rush up to them and grab them in all sorts of weird places and proclaim your love for them. Then suddenly you see all these people that you havent talked to for quite a while and i am filled with so much love.

i hope i can exercise more self-control. BLEAH THIS IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE ALL THE OTHER POSTS. this is very disappointing.

and its really sad how our batch is very clearly starting to break up into very clear cliques.

the power struggle thing is really starting to show in our batch. what she said today really made me realise that.

2006-07-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

boo. nanyang concert was.. interesting. i didnt like the gowns. the mamma mia and dancing queen's interpretations were a bit too choral i think.

i got kinda scared last night because suet said it s not outrageous that we could win a silver. i thought that rg choir was good. and i still do. i mean i thought we were the work-sort of hard and can get gold kinda standard, and if we work really hard we could get gold with honours. but what suet said was like we have to struggle to maintain gold, and thats quite scary.

hwa chong voices. uhm actually they were quite good. if only they took out the sops! ahh! like all the parts were singing, and then the sops came in and you can see people cringe. but I LIKE THE SOLO FOR WADE IN THE WATER'S VOICE. ahh. i vant (i attempt to say in a russian accent).

yay. vic now you shall not strike this off your list of regulars.

gahhhh i havent gone for choir for one week. I AM DEPRESSED! i hope i dont get labelled as a ponner! ahhhhhhhh i want choir. i am scared for prague. from choralfest you can tell that the other choral excellence choirs are really good, they look at their scores and analyse the different parts to see wherer they get their notes from and stuff, but we are like just happy-go-lucky, like if we can get the note, then good lor, but if cannot we just listen to _________(insert senior's name).

which is quite bad. because we rely too much on our seniors, and so some people feel that they can just slack and then afterward just depend on your seniors to teach you your parts or something, which is quite bad.

i really hope we can do well for prague and SYF next year. we really need to have a full song concert next year.

yuck the nasal spray smells DISGUSTING.

RETURN OF THE CHEESY PICK UP LINES!

2006-06-25T15:26:00.000+08:00

Is your name McDonald's? 'cos I'm lovin' it.
I've lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Is there a cashier nearby 'cos I'd like to check you out?

courtesy of vic.

I AM SO AMUSED! YAY! YAY! YAY!

2006-06-22T21:04:00.000+08:00

today's choir getogether thingum was really fun. okay so un-descriptive but i am kinda sad. okay double whacko i had quanquan to protect me. and IT WAS ANNOYING BECAUSE QUITE A LOT OF PEOPLE CALLED ME AND QUANQUAN DIDNT HEAR IT LOTS OF TIMES AND I WAS LIKE wriggling on the floor and patting her legs! and screaming. okay patting her legs sounds weird.

okay i shall not talk about charades and the blanket game because i didnt really participate so whatever.
--------------------
STATION GAMES!
whee! okay uhm first station was the library. ms loo and nina chun which was quite a bland way to start off but oh well. sixuan was quite fast! and good.

uhm second station was the groping station. (: anyway it! was! disgusting! because we were blindfolded and the area was disgusting and dusty and everything. and wanjoo and geet were like we saw a lizard and a spider. i hate spiders. and i was super ickified AND I FELT SOMETHING MUSHY IN MY HANDS! which turned out to be the air rifle board cloth. and suddenly geet and wanjoo started screaming. for no reason. so OBVIOUSLY i screamed. geesh.

then jac's station. blah.

THEN CAT'S STATION! okay actually it was 12 already. but i really wanted to go to cats station because everyone said it was really fun. AND THERE WAS CAT! but i didnt get to sqeeze her butt. and it was SO RETARDED. i mean when we opened the door cat did the ghost long hair thing. and then we watched this video which was stupid because we were SO TIRED. and i was the guy. AHH SO RETARDED! AND I LAUGHED DURING THE SECOND VIDEO. sigh.

okay everything i post here sounds so juvenile and stupid. wahlao RS MENTOR hello can you choose a more appriopriate moment to talk to me? she took like 20 mintues and all the nice food (i.e. nuggets and stuff) were gone and all i had left were 2 fishballs and cold noodle (which i didnt eat because hello? it was COLD).

THE SEC 4S ARE LEAVING! WHAT HAPPENED TO PRAGUE! okay the sec 4s are leaving! urgh. damn i will miss them a lot. but like vic says, i have to DEAL WITH IT. :(

------------------------------------------------------------
the prata shop opposite CCAB closed! i mean it moved somewhere else but it doesnt matter. you know guiqi and i were like ohmygosh prata we are so hungry! yayyayyay! AND IT WAS CLOSED! THE DOORS WERE CHAINED! agh.

i have a feeling that my choralfest group is gna rock! (: cause our group is really small and we're really lively. okay they are because i was REALLY drained from station games. AND MY LACK OF LUNCH. rawr. they all think i look really 'sian' and dao.

sigh i think they think i am a proud uptight 'typical' rgs girl. ):

ah.

2006-06-20T12:22:00.000+08:00

The splendor of a King
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps Himself in light
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

2006-06-20T12:05:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is! somethingood! and i have a feeling that it will not be something very good. eliza! will! not! be! there! that already causes me to panic. and then i find out:

PEIYING LOST HER VOICE! ah!ah!ah! why. and i needneedneed to buy a new red top because that top was uhm gross and tight. and made me look like a man, and from a crossbreeded monkey hamster (monster/hamkey)...

i became a male monkey and hamster ---> MANSTER

noooooooo! argh. i am so maluated! somethingood was.. very interesting. i looked like a freak! like a jogger! or something! it was BAD. and we did sectionals dance. IT! WAS! SO! MALUATING! and we didnt know the lyrics so we just doo-doo-dooed. AND THE PEOPLE WERE SMIRKING AND SNORTING. arghhhhhhh!

and tomorrow we have to busk IN FRONT OF OUR SENIORS. hello its maluating enough to throw away all shreds of dignity in front of complete strangers, but now in front of people we know? AH!AH!AH!

okay. after somethingood i walked around with eliza and then i found out i had to go eat dinner for some family gathering. IN MY BUSKING COSTUME! which was tight and icky and my relatives were like thinking i was totally. uhm gross? IT WAS SO TIGHT!
but dinner was good. and cheap! like 330+ bucks for 11 people!

DAMN. i feel annoyed because a lot of people are being ambiguous on their blogs and i think they are talking about me. not good.
--------------------------------------------
CHURCH CAMP was really good. PRAISE AND WORSHIP! yay. how great is our god is still playing in my head over and over. it was kinda exciting to go straight from church camp to busking when i was still on a CHURCH HIGH! okay i was past the point of fatigue.

church camp i didnt sleep at all. it was SO DAMN. COLD! but the church is really really nice and clean. everywhere was really cold and we had to walk around in shorts and i had no jacket! argh!

2006-06-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

ARGH. i have verbal constipation. like everything i say starts with 'ugh geesh gah argh or uhmmm'.

i have a headache.

i am damn lonely. and bored. i dont know what to do for zuo wen.

its like damn no one wants to talk to me suddenly.
i have a headache.

ow. i am dreading church camp.

damn cant you take this seriously for once? i mean, your lousy excuses are well, annoying. i want to blog a lot about this here but then people will be like oh sam i dont like you anymore blahblahblah.

i cant take anymore of this shit. I have had enough of shit swallowing. and i found out that my grandfather is possible having an affair. WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM MAN MY GRANDMOTHER IS DAMN NICE LAR. what is up with you men.

2006-06-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

1. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
2. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
3. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
4. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
5. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
6. Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."

then, of course the fantastic one that mish knew:
"my name is jin1 wan3, but you can call me tonight"

and mine and mish's
guy: "i have two words i want to say to you. i love you."
girl: "that's three what"
guy: " but you and i are one"

GRROAN.

GROAN.

2006-06-15T19:34:00.000+08:00

first up was the repertoires. i watched for at least TEN minutes okay. not bad. but i didn't even know what they were singing. then i started to yawn and my eyes started to close. for goodness' sake they were singing songs that you listen to before you sleep. i was dying. qi was clapping so loudly, wj was screaming (literally), and i was caught in the middle. i swear i need to bring tape if i'm ever going to another concert like this. they even had to uhh. warm up their voices to scream. rj's dance performance kept me awake. i think that was the highlight of the concert. the busking groups were pretty good as well.

zomg. how insulting is it when you here that your guest performance was the highlight of the night? right.

2006-06-15T17:44:00.000+08:00

http://kevan.org/johari?name=samm%20(:

do it! (:

2006-06-15T17:28:00.000+08:00

my worst nightmare has uhm occurred/ come true or whatever.

I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN CHURCH AND CHOIR!
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i know like you're supposed to place God over earthly matters. like, invest in your afterlife! cause God will be with you after you die, but uhm choir wont.

like i might be a better singing angel in the choir(s) of heaven. okay i have this image that all people do in heaven is walk on clouds. and sing. and that all angels are blond.

OH WAIT. THAT'S ONLY IF I ACTUALLY GET INTO HEAVEN. which i wont. because i swear. a lot. ARGHHHHH.

okay maybe choir will help me. like i can sing really high and hopefully all the (hopefully) glass doors of hell will shatter. and i will BE FREE! oh wait im not a sop. ARGH.

ARGH THIS IS SO!!! not good for sam because she doesnt not make decisions well.
--------------------------------------
WHY I SHOULD GO FOR SOMETHINGOOD:
1. i won't enjoy myself at choir camp or experience God worrying that something will go drastically wrong without me (again wishful thinking because that's only for important people. sigh)

2. because there will be a LARGE imbalance in altos. like 2 to 5 sops. and when eliza sings the you cant hurry love solo, sixuan will have to sing the harmony alone.

3. I DONT KNOW ANYONE IN CHURCH CLASS WELL. i m like this SHY person. hello, sam shy?

WHY I SHOULD GO FOR CHRUCH:
1. because i have a duty to God because he created us. and i should place him before anything else in my life (i.e. CHOIR). ---> because i should.

2. because i should.

3. because i should.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. looking at the list. i should go for somethingood. maybe this is a test from God. like if i choose somethingood then i have to go straight to hell. i like life very much thank you.

DAMN.

2006-06-14T21:27:00.000+08:00

you know this is not good. i feel more guilty about eating so much fried food today and yesterday than slacking off. whoops!

okay i still have to do

- complete WGP
- do bio reflections
- chinese zuo wen
- eng book review
- pythygoras thorem ws1-4
- do second chinese book review (can someone tell me how many we have to do each semester or else i have no reason to do a second one)

2006-06-14T20:52:00.000+08:00

DAMN. samantha is dangerous around a bag of chips.

I JUST ATE 30 GRAMS OF FAT.

ahhhh.

but the buffet yesterday was good. i sort of went crazy with the miso soup. eliza knows. (:

LOVEEESSSSSSSSS!

i am a love junkie.

SOMETHINGOOD!

18th june!
shaw underpass
11-6

21st june!
shaw underpass
2-7

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2006-06-12T17:26:00.000+08:00

okay i got this from vic'S REALLY old post. i dont bother to do the numbers so.

What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?
299. Jack: the fat man in the nacho show. you know the superman one? ew.
300. Tiffany: the jewelry store!
301. Ben: a very fat, hairy and greasy guy in briefs. used-to-be-white-and-now-yeellow-briefs.
302. Maria: the tennis player?
303. Jennifer: Aniston.
304. Nicole: uhh my best friend's cousin. or the girl in our class who is really cute.
305. Amy: I don't know.
306. Adam: the naked guy in the bible who sinned.
307. Richard: GERE! IS! SO! CUTE! especially in the visa ad.
308. Justin: the guy with frizzy hair in american idol season 1.
309. Arnold: a red-headed freckled kid.
310. Tom: cruise. ew.
311. Melissa: spoiled brat.
312. Charlotte: blond angelic kid.
313. Harold: again, the greasy guy picture.
314. John: CONNOLLY! he was a really good lit teacher.
315. Joel: the wimpy goody goody.
316. Vanessa: a pudgy pale girl.
317. Michelle: the ice-skater.
318. Kevin: ew.
319. Brent: uhh is that a girl or guys name?
320. Jake: uhh i dont know.
321. Billy: Hillbilly.
322. Sarah: My cousin, former best friend and two of my seniors.
323. Natalie: spoiled angelic kid.
324. Christy: annoying name.
325. Nick: used to be a hot name. But isn't now.
326. Linda: a teacher. those soft-spoken shy teachers.
327. Taylor: That grey-haird guy on AMI.
328. Jordan: UM i dont know.
329. Jamie: that weird local actress
330. Adrian: umm that icky local actor.

SEVEN THINGS IN YOUR R00M :

1. bed
2. study table
3. Bed
4. mutilated barbies
5. closet
6. Tons of books
7. A mirror

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:

1. Oxygen. You can't trick me.
2. Food and water. You're not gonna get me again.
3. My Family
4. Friends
5. choir
6. life!
7. GOD <333 But He's not really a "thing" so I didn't know whether to include Him.

SEVEN THINGS 0N YOUR MIND:

1. what a lazy ass i am.
2. busking. somethingood.
3. peiying! come home now!
4. my mom and brother. they're in china. the house feels so empty.
5. WGP!! argh.
6. incognito. WHY CANT WE BE LIKE THEM?
7. RS LIT REVIEW! die.

SEVEN OTHER THINGS:

Do You:
1. Believe in God? Most certainly.
2. Had a dream come true? Nope.
3. Read the newspaper? yes. almost everyday.
4. Pray? Yes.
5. Have a job? i want to, but no.
6. Go to church? I most definitely do.
7. Wish on stars? huh. no?

Have you ever:
1. cried cause you were happy? yeah. once. okay i sound like a crackhead.
2. kiss someone of the same sex? ELAINE!FIONA! no wait she kissed me.
3. Swam in the dark? yeah at my brother's bithday party.
5. Ran away from home? ew. no.
6. Played strip poker? ZOMG NEVER! censored!
7. Pulled an all nighter? what's a all nighter.

SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU:

1. Cried? No.
2. Had fun? not really.
3. Been kissed? nope.
4. Felt stupid? Yes. the busking practice that was cancelled today. and saturday night. the microphone thing. sigh.
5. Talked to an ex? um no.
6. Missed someone? my mom. and brother. and peiying. and choir.
7. Hugged someone? yes. ITS WHAT I DO!

Stole the next one from vic. again.

you're supposed to get below 60 points in total to be considered an angel.

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 5

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 7

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 1

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 4

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 6

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 6

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 4

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 5

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 6

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 8

oh. 53. thats. quite bad. RAWR! NOOOOO i am an angel! an angel i say!
right.

2006-06-07T18:39:00.000+08:00

i mean, i treat this place as a place to vent my thoughts and stuff, so i dont think i should be criticised for what i write in here.

FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

i cant believe it just because i treat a situation a certain way and i care for her AND I SHOW IT i get critised?
-------------------------------

URGH. i mean, i slept late too. and i had to wake up early. urgh i was kinda pissed cause I WAKE UP EARLY PRACTICALLY EVERY MORNING TOO. and you just take like what, 5 minutes? ughhhhhhh i hate it.
------------------------------

I AM A FUCKING BITCH NOW. yes i even said THE word.

i think today is the worst day of my life.

and please shut up and FUCK OFF and do not tag my blog to say that my day isnt that bad. there are things that happened that i did not post up here.

geesh. i need to get rid of these emo posts.

2006-06-05T20:46:00.000+08:00

i m just so glad its over.

i know things will never be the same between us but well, we can try.

you know when i went to your blog, and i was waiting for the thing to load, i was debating, should i close the window? because if you posted about how you hurt and were confused or just wanted to give up on our relationship, i didnt want to see it.
but if you didnt blog, i was scared that it meant that this meant so little to you that you didnt even bother to blog. i guess that yes, i didnt trust you enough, even though i wanted to.

you know when i saw your post, i cried again because i was so happy. and i love you i love you i love you. i cant say it enough, but i hope you get it.

our conversations were magical. they always seemed too short, too short.

---------------------

oh and thank you suet. i think it was quite funny that we both were talking to you and i said i cant tell you who she is. and you knew who she was and you played along. you're wonderful. :) i love you!

i really missed you during our break. even though it was for less than a day, it was way too long. yes, it was just.. different.

well, i think our friendship has been true, but its just there are some things i feel i cant talk about to you sometimes and it feels like there's a really big wall between us. i hope we can change that. i m afraid peiying, sometimes of what you think of me, because the person i am in choir is not really the person i am at home.
okay this sounds weird. i need to call you. now.

i love you peiying.

2006-06-05T19:39:00.000+08:00

this is a note that i wanted to give or mail to you cause i really didnt know what you were thinking.

i just feel like everything i m doing now iw wrong.

i want to love, and be loved in return. i m sorry, you were always there for me but now i cant be there for you.

i guess this is the true test of our friendship, and if we get through this, it'll just bring us closer. but if we dont.. well i dont want to this about that, but i just want to know i never blamed you for this or anything. because we cant help what we hear, and we cant help being affected by them.

its a tough time you have to go through, and well, i just want to say i understand. i m disappointed, but i understand. i woke up this morning and the first thing i thought of was you and i got a bit angry. like i said above, we cant help what we hear.
-------------------------------
on a lighter note,

DRAKE: dad has a woman problem.
JOSH: dad has cramps?
DRAKE: i think he's .. seeing another woman.
JOSH: seeing another woman do what?

AHHHAHAHHA.

2006-06-04T23:04:00.000+08:00

you know if you love someone. it doesnt mean you guys must always be together, every single moment.

you have to trust that person, when she says that she loves you. because otherwise if you cant trust that, then you dont have a basis for a friendship. and you have to trust in yourself, that you have a friend like that, and that shes going to be your friend regardless of what.

in other words. its just a lot of trust. and for that. you need to be really strong. and most imptly. you need to trust yourself.

suet.
--------------

thank you suet and you've helped me more than you know.

2006-06-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

i would give anything, ANYTHING to make your mind clear again.
i want to hug you or call you or something to make you feel better.

but you're gone.

and i m missing you already.
-------------------
i look back and i cry.

my heart is weary and hurting.

but i dont know whether you ever cared.

2006-06-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

i m not angry at you. i can see that you're confused. but i am disappointed.

i want whats best for you. and its okay if you hate me.

i love you and i just wish all of this yould blow away. its like the world's weight of evil has come crashing down on me, and soon i m not going to be able to hold it up anymore.

i need love.

its coming true after all. i AM a clingy, overanalytical girl.

-------------------------------------------

i just want you to know i never intended to do anything wrong. like i said, no one wants to make mistakes.

it's okay. i am a horrible person.

----------------------------------------------

i dont deserve what i had anyway.
i knew i was just too lucky to have had a friend like you.

everyday i thought, i thanked God for such wonderful people i have around me.
it was just too good to be true.

its too hard. i need time too and i could never hate you for what you did for me.

i really mean it when i say this.

i love you.

2006-06-03T22:08:00.001+08:00

i need a new skin.

AHAHHHA ELIZA PEED TODAY! IN CARL'S JR!!

yuck and i saw this woman's netty thong. HELLO no one wants to see your holey thong.

ew.

and the library was so hot!!
the glass panels totally heat up the room i was sweating like crazy.

2006-06-03T22:08:00.000+08:00

2006-06-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

you said you'd be there for me.

and you werent.

i dont know what to say anymore. you've disppointed me more than i can say.

-----------------------------------

a conversation from the 40-Year old virgin
GIRL: do you have protection?
GUY: i dont carry guns.

AHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAH i think its so amusing.

2006-06-01T19:19:00.000+08:00

argh i want my birthday to come. nownownow! i demand.

i really need to change my template.

-----------------------------------

"What I have to offer Jacob comes FROM Jacob, if that makes sense. And what he offers is because of me. We bring out the best in each other. I have an attentive, adoring audience I can count on. I can dare and take risks and walk on the edge. I can't fail, as long as I'm with him."

-travelling light-

this book is super sad. ahh its like brokeback mountain. except better.
yes it is about gay guys.

but its so sad.

ahh i love this book.

-------------------------------------

2006-05-30T22:23:00.000+08:00

i dont know.
sometimes it feels so fake.
and i really dont know what i m living for.

how do you be yourself when you dont even know what you truly are.

thank you peiying for being there when i need you.
i cant say the same for me though.

2006-05-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

We are all like hidden gems, in our own unique ways.
Some may be sapphires, or pearls, or amethysts or diamonds.
You have to uncover what shimmers within you, and let it out.
Let it shine.
Let yourself sparkle.
Because you're precious and
You can be the star that you want to be, but only if you allow yourself to.

Farewells never equate to the loss of that special shine.
It may bring us further apart, but your sparkle doesn't fade.
Your glimmer doesnt pale.
And your shine doesnt disappear.

And if you try hard enough, maybe you can feel
The warmth of others' glow within
The rain of glitter that gently falls from the stars
The music which glimmers. Soft but intense.
And just like the gem that you are,
The love which sparkles.

----------------------

i miss the sec 4s '05. i miss hongyi xiumin siying yilun soomeh and YILYN. and the others.

ahhhhhhh.

can you imagine if i m like this with seniors i m not that close to, then how will i be during this year farewell?

but they wont feel that way cause i am majorly pissing a lot of them off.

sigh.
---------------

hahahha eliza we will sing!

peiying i shall stress that I WAS NEVER GOING TO KICK YOU OUT BECAUSE :
1. there is no reason to kick you out
2. i am not QUALIFIED to kick you out. as suet has pointed out. its a group decision!

so dont stress, get well and come back to mama. :)

sigh. les sirenes we will rock. (:
loves

2006-05-29T18:52:00.000+08:00

peiying is so cute.

i swooooooooooooooon.

2006-05-29T18:18:00.000+08:00

Maybe I dont wanna know the reason why
But lately you dont talk to me
Darling I cant see me in your eyes
I hold you near but youre so far away
And its losing you I cant believe
To watch you leave and let this feeling die
You alone are the living thing that keeps me alive
And tomorrow if Im here without your love
You know I cant survive
Only my love can raise you high above it all

Dont throw it all away , our love , our love
Dont throw it all away , our love
Dont throw it all away , our love , our love
Dont throw it all away , our love

We can take the darkness and make if full of light
But let your love flow back to me
How can you leave and let this feeling die
This happy room will be a lonely place when you are gone
And I wont even have your shoulders for the crying on
No other womens love could be as true , Im begging you

We changed the world we made it ours to hold
But dreams are made for those who really try
This losing you is real
But I still feel you here inside

okay i think the last line is amusing. :)

----------------------------------

GAY POWER! says:
cat?

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
yes

GAY POWER! says:
I CRUSH J TOH!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
...

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
inadvisable

GAY POWER! says:
HE .

GAY POWER! says:
IS.

GAY POWER! says:
SO. CUTE.

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
...HE

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
IS

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
GAY.

GAY POWER! says:
GAY POWER!

GAY POWER! says:
i shall become a man!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
!!!!!!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
oh dear.

GAY POWER! says:
why?

GAY POWER! says:
i think it' d be fun.

GAY POWER! says:
J TOH, HERE I COME!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
....

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
good luck on that sweetheart

2006-05-28T21:09:00.000+08:00

i want choir.
CRAVINGS. i have cat cravings. singing cravings. and eliza overload. (:

psb interview tomorw!! i hope i can make it.

2006-05-28T20:20:00.000+08:00

i miss jiali.
vic is going away for cap.
peiying is sick.
mishy is going away for cap+church thingy+kl trip.

sigh its a sad week.

we will rock. les sirenes!

+++++++++++++++++++++

i hope you get well. i hope the test turns out negative.

I love you a lot, even though i dont say it.

please, dont leave us.

2006-05-27T19:52:00.000+08:00

rawr. haha this is our funny conversation at starbucks. (:

Me: hi i am sam. wanna have a good time? ;)

eliza DIAL 999!

ME: I only charge $45 an hour.

eliza: value for money! buy two get one free! for a limited period only.

me bring your own toys for extra pleasure.

terms and conditions apply:
if you're the hot model in the Zara ad at Ngee Ann City, we wont charge!

i was damn scared the tissue on which we wrote the conversation would drop out of my pocket and people would be like. O.O

okay.

i love you and i hope we can get through this.

2006-05-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER BITCH RIGHT NOW SO FOR GOODNESS SAKE DONT TAKE IT TO HEART.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

just because i slept more than you doesnt mean i m not tired or i dont have the right to say i m tired right wtf.

i somehow get the feeling that a lot of people actually hate me but they act all ooh i love you too kinda thing. its kinda scary.

2006-05-23T20:24:00.000+08:00

"You say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day"

okay i have made an exception for this mainstream song. (:

i love choir. i dont know what i wouldnt do for it.

just because i dont have a car, i dont think thats reason enough to look down on me.
you can look down on me because you dont think i am a good person, because i have low morals, whatever, but i dont think you should look sown on me for superficial things.

i ve learnt to accept it, why cant you?

and to all the wonderful people: i love you so much, so much. i m sorry if i ve been a bitch this week, but i hope you understand. i love you eliza.

WE WILL ROCK SOMETHINGOOD.

i know i say this a lot, but i really appreciate you guys.

2006-05-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.

[ ] I have been to Europe.
[2] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[3] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[4] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.

[5] I have played ping pong.
[6] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[7] I have seen fireworks.

[8] I have seen a shooting star
[ ] I have seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I have almost drowned.
[9] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

[10] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[ ] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[11] I have stayed up 'til 2 doing homework/projects. (That's what Rafflesians DO, man.)
[12] I currently have a job. (Occupation = student. I DEMAND MORE PAY!)
[ ] I have been ice skating. (I did not enjoy it.)
[13] I have been roller blading.
[14] I have fallen flat on my face.
[15] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[16] I have been in a fist fight. (I have violent tendencies.)
[17] I have watched the Power Rangers.

[18] I attend Church regularly. (YYP = love. YYP conference = love-r!)
[19] I have played truth or dare.(Quote: "Quote: "who hasn't-_-"")
[ ] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[ ] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[20] I've called someone stupid. (She didn't want to be friends with me after that.)
[21] I've been in a verbal argument.
[22] I've cried in school. Many times.
[23] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[24] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[25] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.

[27] I've climbed a rock wall. (albeit badly.)
[ ] I've lost more than $20. (I dropped my wallet in the toilet bowl TWICE. In ONE WEEK.)
[28] I've called myself an idiot. (Refer to number 28.)
[29] I've called someone else an idiot.
[30] I've cried myself to sleep.
[31] I've had (or have) pets. (Poor little Venus.)

[32] I've owned a spice girls CD.
[ ] I've owned a Britney Spears CD.
[ ] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[33] I've owned a backstreet boys CD.
[34] I've mooned someone. guiqi i think. CONCERT! (:
[35] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[ ] I've been on TV.
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[36] I've eaten sushi. (Yum yum.)
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[ ] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[ ] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[ ] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[37] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.

[38] I've been called a geek.
[39] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. HAPPENS all the time
[43] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[44] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[45] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[46] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[47] I've written poetry. (Again. "albeit badly".)
[ ] I've been arrested.

[48] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[49 ] I've been tickled till I've cried. cat? i was rolling on the floor.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[50] I've had/have siblings.
[ ] I've been to a rock concert.

[51] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[ ] I've been in a play.(Though not recently.)
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[52] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.

[53] I've cried in front of my friends.
[54] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[ ] I've freaked out over a sports game. (Netball carn!)
[ ] I've been to Alaska.

[55] I've been to China. (MY MOTHERLAND!)
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've had a fight with someone on AIM.
[56] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[57] I've had serious conversations on any IM.

[58] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[59] I've been forgiven.
[60] I've screamed at a scary movie. (I don't subject myself to horror flicks.)
[ ] I've cried at a chick flick.
[61] I've watched a lot of action movies. (Sucks to have a brother.)
[62] I've screamed at the top of my lungs
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.

[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[63] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[64] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[65] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[ ] I've been in a car accident.

[ ] I've done drugs.
[ ] I've been homesick.
[66] I've thrown up.
[67] I've puked on someone. (Sadly, not yet. THE TIME WILL COME!)
[68] I've been horseback riding.

[69] I've filled out more than 10 myspace/LJ surveys.
[70] I've spoken my mind in public.
[71] I've proved someone wrong.
[72] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.

[ ] I've broken an arm/fingers.
[73] I've fallen off a swing.
[ ] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight.
[74] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[ ] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.

[ ] I've lost my backpack.
[ ] I've come close to dying.
[ ] I've seen someone die.
[75] I've known someone who has died.
[ ] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point. (i.e. NOW)

[ ] I've done modeling.
[76] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings. (Eww. Halitosis, much.)
[77] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[78] I've realized how good my life is.
[79] I've counted my blessings.
[80] I've made fun of a classmate.
[81] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.

[82] I've slapped someone in the face.
[ ] I've been skateboarding. (And contrary to popular belief, I did not injure anyone while doing it.)
[83] I've been back stabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[84] I've lied to someone to their face.
[85] I've told a little white lie.

[ ] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[86] I've fainted.
[ ] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[87] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[88] I've been pushed into a pool.
[89] I've been/am in love. Deborah the dinosaur! cat!

2006-05-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM GOING TO SO FAIL PHILO.

and why do i smell rotting bananas?

2006-05-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

WTF. a hundred words to go before i hit the minimum word count?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

die philo journal!

2006-05-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

WTH YOU GUYS ARE EVIL! its unethical to force people to talk to you! for your own twisted pleasure! ):

TWISTED! LIKE A TWISTY!

freak i failed math. can you believe! math! the stupid 12 mark graph screwed me up. rawr.

"sex bomb, sex bomb, you're a sex bomb
and baby you can turn me on."

i think its hilarious. (:

2006-05-21T19:21:00.000+08:00

RAWR I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A HAMSTER!

is it that obvious i m going on a blogging binge?
just saying.

"i say ben you say jerry's!
i say haagen you say daaz!"
-sam

see i CAN say witty things.

:)

2006-05-21T19:12:00.000+08:00

okay. i have decided. i am wayyyy to clingy and overobsessed with the sec 4s. so this is my action plan to decrease my clingyness:

I will not talk and have msn conversations with the sec 4s and chanel for a month! wahha so smart right?
if they talk to me i have to fine myself a dollar.

yay! i must train my discipline!

2006-05-21T19:07:00.000+08:00

I have a shitload of things to do. Like:
Math Ws 8(done)
Math ws 8 self-practice
Math Ass 2 (done)
Math ws9 [next math lesson]
Math ass 3 (question 4 not done) [next Thursday]
Math practical 2 [next math lesson]
Geog (Hilda taba) pt [Thursday]
Geog (individual) pt [Thursday]
Geog self-reflection pt [not sure]
Eng book review [hols]
Chinese book reviews (2) [hols]
Chinese newspaper review [hols]
History SBQs [hols]
Art. [weds]
si1 han2 [not sure]
Chinese filing [fri?]
Literature filing [Thursday or Friday]
Eng pt self- reflection [Friday latest]
Eng pt peer evaluation [Friday latest]
Copy bio slides from Inet [nil]
Copy bio notes into my sci notebook [nil]
THE proposal [31st may]

ARGH. GO AWAY!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
die geog die.

2006-05-21T18:53:00.000+08:00

ohmygosh today has been so freaky.

FREAKY INCIDENT #1:
i was just sitting on the toilet bowl pooping, and i saw a insect. a HUMONGOUS GIGANTIC SHINY ICKY thingy. so i was like OH SHIT okay i will shit faster so i can run out. and two seconds later... IT WAS GONE! and i was like AHHHHHHHHH!! WHERE DID IT GO! okay on to..

FREAKY INCIDENT #2
on the overhead bridge i saw two spiders and they were damn freaky. nuff said.

FREAKY INCIDENT #3
i checked cat's old blog and i got a blog about a teenager documenting her sex adventures. okay not in the recent ones but yeah. i was like CAT WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?? okay it was scary.

okay. haha today mass was funny. the priest was like " love your neighbours. i didnt say like your neighbours, i said love. you cannot like bad things. you cannot like a bad smell."

2006-05-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

Nobody like me,
Everybody hates me,
Im gonna eat some worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Long thin slimy ones
Lets go and eat some worms!

I miss choir.
I miss ___

I m sorry if you’re one of the people who I keep calling up and talking to for the sake of making me feel liked. I m selfish that way.

I wish someone loved me.

This is stupid. I am starting to hate cathecism because in there I turn into this sulky grumpy bitch who goes no I don’t want a seat. Its okay.

I hate those people. I hate me.

See she wont even respond. I knew it.

ARGH I M SORRY ALREADY. April-july is samantha’s annoying analytical season.

I love you.

I think Chanel hates me. And about a gazillion other people.

I said I m sorry!

2006-05-18T07:04:00.000+08:00

grah i just realised this belt isnt mine. its soft and squishy and NO WONDER ITS SO LOOSE. i thought it was because i lost a lot of weight. SIGH.

2006-05-17T07:07:00.000+08:00

OMFG i hate myself. i hate crying my face gets all patchy and my eyes get blotchy.
i tell you, i can just walk around the school in daytime crying and people will run away screaming.

i love you. i love you. argh. i love you chanel and cat and eliza and peiying and mish. <33

wahlao that toktok story was so damn SCARY i didnt bathe last night leh.
i just used wet wipes. okay i know disgusting but ARGH I M DAMN SCARED OUTSIDE MY BATHROOM WINDOW THERE'LL BE HER FACE OR SOMETHING LAH. and now i m scared of my darlie toothpaste in case the darlie face smiles or winks at me or something.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. and cat you didnt call wth. and you never tag my blog! okay i have a sudden infatuation with cat.

i sort of want technicals though in a crazy way cause my voice is shitty. BUT I DONT WANT CAT LAH DURING TECHNICALS SHE ALWAYS GETS THIS CONSTIPATED LOOK then you're like shitttt is my voice THAT BAD?

yeah so i dont want cat. for technicals. CONSTIPATION .

okay so the green men diddnt rape us. YAY! <33

2006-05-15T14:38:00.000+08:00

i love RG CHOIR. i just want to say its the times that try you the most that make you realise that passion is such a precious and IMPORTANT thing and with it life is stupid and meaningless.

I wouldnt want a life like that. when i look back to last year the choir auditions i know that i was so lucky to have found a cca where i can really let go. my haven.

all i remember of bel canto was lights applause and pink spangly too-short dresses.
its ALL over. its starting to sink in now, but not fully. The thought that after another two years we have to leave choir is a NIGHTMARE.

geesh everything sounds so stupid and GRAH STUPID when i write it down. sam is not good with words.

grah 2.4 in 50 minutes.

DIE NAPFA DIE.

2006-05-13T20:07:00.000+08:00

i love rgs choir.
love.

i just cant belive its all OVER. i know i ve been saying this for so long right, but its true.

and like vic said. the stage just has this MAGICAL feeling when you step on it.

4 years just isnt enough.
NEVER.

2006-05-12T17:06:00.000+08:00

its over. says:
im just so scared.
its over. says:
and numb.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
about?
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and ohdear.
its over. says:
what are we gonna do after the seniors leave
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we'll all survive, and they wont even be gone so soon!
its over. says:
i cant rmb life before them
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
its a natural process, everyone has to say their goodbyes once in a while.
its over. says:
and i cant imagine life after them.
its over. says:
i will cry like crazy.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we'll all be really sad dear!
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
but then again they HAVE to go one day.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:):
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and sometimes i get reallyyyyyy sad too,
its over. says:
i dont want to think about it.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
when some major change occurs in my life.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
cus i don't like changes?
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
but noone does.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and so we'll all just have to bear this together.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
its part of growing up.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and don't think about it then.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
you have your own choice.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we're all really affected by concert,
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
especially since we did so well. [:
its over. says:
i just want to bury my head in a hole and make that thought go away.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
it will.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
give yourself a week's time.
its over. says:
i m just happy because this year i think i ve gotten more involved.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
yes. ME TOO! imean. this MONTH i think.
its over. says:
last year i wasnt really close to the sec 4s.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
not year.
its over. says:
last year it was like.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
oh. yeah. we still have a few more months to go la.
its over. says:
huh whats going on.
its over. says:
and we were like living in dreamland.
its over. says:
so it was lucky last year concert went so well.
its over. says:
i guess next year the sec 1s will be like us.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
you had the sec4s remember.
its over. says:
and i m scared.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
yeah.
its over. says:
when we're in sec 4
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
no you shouldnt be.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we're ALL gna be sec4s/
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
together!
its over. says:
there'll be no one to guide us and lead us.
its over. says:
i dont know what choir will be like.
its over. says:
i love choir so so so much.
its over. says:
like next year.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we still have time. and i don't think im in much of a place to comment, because im only STARTING to love choir.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
its hard for me too, yknow.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
imean it takes time for me to adapt.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and concert was really fun.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
so im on my way to where you are [:

2006-04-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

okay i shall just say it no matter how stupid and nyek it sounds.

i love rg choir! i love rg choir! lovelovelovelove.

no i dont want choir concert.

I REALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY dont want the sec 4s to leave.
oh crap. oh crap. crap. :(( i will REALLY REALLY miss all of them.

sigh.sigh. ick.ick. crap but whatthe why are they all leaving after choir concert? there's no more O levels what, and there still the overseas trip. (HAHA)

okay i m just saying that to cheer myself up.

CRUD.

CRUD. i dread choir concert. :'(

2006-04-29T18:24:00.000+08:00

"I quite like my seating arrangement. It's positively entertaining. Just so you know, I'm blogging in an on/off English/American drawl. Well, maybe not. And my room smells sour. Dreadful. Back to the topic, darling. It is really fun being at the corner. Samantha's constant proclamations on how she's addicted to the human touch, Jessica's incessant nose-blowing antics and the whole trashy boob-talk thing. Yup we've got in down pat.

CLE was insightful. We (Sam and I) discovered a whole new philosophy, being the Sharks that we are. We were mildy shocked by the phrase "You hit me with a rock and I'll hit you back with cotton". More like "You hit us with a rock, we'll hit you with a bigger rock." That was very coincidental. We both thought of the same thing. Jessica was proudly a compromising fox, which she failed not to rub into our aggressive little faces. Well maybe she didn't. Maybe I'm lying. Maybe I'm a fat balding old man wearing a wifebeater and scratching my crotch while updating. I don't know how that came out."

AHHHAHHHAH. i am amused.
i love vic.
=================================

concert stress is getting to me. i know all i m talking about is choir concert nowadays, so hope you all can understand.

i dont know how we're going to pull this concert off. )):

ahh i think jac and suet are talking about me on their blog! but i love choir! )):
sigh okay i guess this is my last choir concert then.

:((

sam is going to die.

2006-04-24T16:47:00.000+08:00

Okay shit people I know you really don’t want to know this but my ******* hurts really badly and it might even be bleeding. So it’ll probably be infected very soon and then I will die. Just in case Samantha dies, Samantha wants to say:

I love you all very very much. I love Cat, Chanel, Elaine, Eliza, Fiona, Geet, Guiqi, Jac, Jessica, Jiali, Jingyi, Kayleigh, Peiying, Victoria Suet Tzeqing and many other people. Like daddy mommy and God. See all according to alphabetical order so people don’t feel nyeh.

My living will:
If I have to be on a life-support machine please do not take the thing out so I will suffocate. Suffocating = Suffering. And Samantha does not want to suffer. So please just make me drink mophine or something. DO NOT INJECT ME EVEN IF I MIGHT BE IN A COMA OR SOMETHING.

Also, I want my body parts to be donated. And do not cremate me please please do not cremate me. Just bury me. Thank you. And that is the end of Samantha’s morbid post.

If you do not see me in Choir tomorrow, you know what that means : Samantha is dead.

Goodbye!

Shit why do I even bother no one would even notice I was gone anyway. They’d just be like Sam? Sam who?
Sigh.

2006-04-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

today i had catechism, and it really made me think, why am i going for confirmation.

confirmation is to confirm your faith in God, to say, yes i do want to be a Catholic, i do love God.

do i? i want to, but i still doubt. i really admire people who can take that huge leap of faith, believe unconditionally in something they have never seen.

Lord, help me to see you and believe in you.

i just found out that hell isnt really a place of fire, terror of ugliness where you get chopped up everyday. its a place thats is full of pleasure, but absent of any love, just a cold world. somehow though, i think that is even more terrifying than a fiery hell.

i just cant imagine a world without love.

2006-04-19T18:43:00.000+08:00

i dont think i can bear to see this years batch of sec 4s go. you all have been so fantastically wonderful, i m almost as close to some of you as my batchmates.

gah i hope we'll still see you after concert.

concert stress is slowing crushing us but we'll stick together and stay strong.

i hope this year's concert will be good.

2006-04-19T18:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes i surprise myself by how fake i can be.

its comforting to knwo that there are other people just like me struggling to find and believe in God. i love you guys.

thanks for sticking by me throughout this episode. whee love you.

nyeh i wish i were rich.

2006-04-17T18:15:00.000+08:00

oh man. i think urbannymph has like the gorgeousest bags ever.

haha if you dont like my taste its okay! cause i like it!

i love retro bags!

2006-04-17T17:56:00.000+08:00

NO! it cant be! that tag has just signified the end of my choir life! and possibly my life as well! what if it turns into this big humonguous hooha and ms loo says, samantha, i think it would be best for the choir if you just quit.

I WILL DIE!! i m too young to die! i know many people who would want me dead, but all in all, i treasure my life!

what if she comes after me with a chopper!

argh!! i m scared.

YAY THANK YOU LORD FOR MY FANTABULOUS geog marks!
okay whatever people it may not be high to you but i havent had a single high mark this whole semester so WHATEVER.

grah!! i need an extension for hist pt!

CRUD I DONT WANT TO DIE!

2006-04-16T20:36:00.000+08:00

grah i hate those days when you get out of bed and you're so nyehishly sluggish and you feel like the world hates you.

its so sad when i realise that though i love so many people, i really dont know how many of those love me.

sam is sad.

argh the popular of bras basar is horrendously annoying! its chick lit, not chic lit. geesh.

yay today daddy was baptised, but it was tiring and stupid because we focused more on taking pictures and i didnt even see him baptised. )): but i saw him confirmed yay! i wish i could say i was a devout christian but cant.

sometimes i find myself doubting the existence of God and that is like the ultimate sin. i wish i could say i see god in everything, but i dont. god in war?

and my mom was like picking on me throughout church. like people look at your face already so gross, then you still want to destroy your body [by picking your scabs]?

I HATE THE WORLD.
ARGHARGH!!!!

stupid bryden chew. he still hasnt replied. ARGH I AM HORRENDOUSLY PISSED.

2006-04-14T21:01:00.000+08:00

i love so many people in this world.
thank you lord for giving me so much.

2006-04-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

AHH on myheritage i got Zsa Zsa Gabor and Pierre Curie for my male face! and that is like my best photo! my sweet-looking sci pt one!

zsa zsa gabor looks like dolly parton! rah i do not look like her!

and in another photo, not the monkey face one, i was looking normal and they said no matches!

AHHHA we were walking around Toa Payoh and chanel mocked the ring thing. CHANEL YOU ARE AMUSING I LOVE YOU! eliza uhh. i ll think about it. HAH.

chanel go post the pictures up!

sheesh the watson's woman gave us the blackheads mask thing. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY WOMAN! nyeh i dont like you.

AHAHA CHANEL IS STILL CRUSHING ASPIRIN I SHALL GO MAKE FUN OF HER NOW.

___________________hello 3 practices for choir is the basics. 4 is the norm. GET USED TO IT. and i dont like your jacket. poo to you.

can you stop being so gross. why did they dump all the off and airy people in alto 2.
nyehs that means i m off and airy too! i thought my voice is okay. augh!!

sheesh you ugly jacket person maybe you look up to the other super off person in your section or whatever, but your blogging style and level of annoyingness is EXACTLY THE SAME as hers.

i dont LIKE you.

2006-04-07T22:11:00.000+08:00

its annoying how trying this week has been.

it isn't the effort. it just so disppointing when you have given up your time, your soul and part of your life, and the result is crap.

we need to believe.