//...my world...\\

i dont know.
sometimes it feels so fake.
and i really dont know what i m living for.

how do you be yourself when you dont even know what you truly are.

thank you peiying for being there when i need you.
i cant say the same for me though.

Sam (: - 5/30/2006 10:23:00 PM

We are all like hidden gems, in our own unique ways.
Some may be sapphires, or pearls, or amethysts or diamonds.
You have to uncover what shimmers within you, and let it out.
Let it shine.
Let yourself sparkle.
Because you're precious and
You can be the star that you want to be, but only if you allow yourself to.

Farewells never equate to the loss of that special shine.
It may bring us further apart, but your sparkle doesn't fade.
Your glimmer doesnt pale.
And your shine doesnt disappear.

And if you try hard enough, maybe you can feel
The warmth of others' glow within
The rain of glitter that gently falls from the stars
The music which glimmers. Soft but intense.
And just like the gem that you are,
The love which sparkles.

----------------------

i miss the sec 4s '05. i miss hongyi xiumin siying yilun soomeh and YILYN. and the others.

ahhhhhhh.

can you imagine if i m like this with seniors i m not that close to, then how will i be during this year farewell?

but they wont feel that way cause i am majorly pissing a lot of them off.

sigh.
---------------

hahahha eliza we will sing!

peiying i shall stress that I WAS NEVER GOING TO KICK YOU OUT BECAUSE :
1. there is no reason to kick you out
2. i am not QUALIFIED to kick you out. as suet has pointed out. its a group decision!

so dont stress, get well and come back to mama. :)

sigh. les sirenes we will rock. (:
loves

Sam (: - 5/30/2006 09:50:00 PM

Monday, May 29, 2006

peiying is so cute.

i swooooooooooooooon.

Sam (: - 5/29/2006 06:52:00 PM

Maybe I dont wanna know the reason why
But lately you dont talk to me
Darling I cant see me in your eyes
I hold you near but youre so far away
And its losing you I cant believe
To watch you leave and let this feeling die
You alone are the living thing that keeps me alive
And tomorrow if Im here without your love
You know I cant survive
Only my love can raise you high above it all

Dont throw it all away , our love , our love
Dont throw it all away , our love
Dont throw it all away , our love , our love
Dont throw it all away , our love

We can take the darkness and make if full of light
But let your love flow back to me
How can you leave and let this feeling die
This happy room will be a lonely place when you are gone
And I wont even have your shoulders for the crying on
No other womens love could be as true , Im begging you

We changed the world we made it ours to hold
But dreams are made for those who really try
This losing you is real
But I still feel you here inside

okay i think the last line is amusing. :)

----------------------------------

GAY POWER! says:
cat?

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
yes

GAY POWER! says:
I CRUSH J TOH!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
...

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
inadvisable

GAY POWER! says:
HE .

GAY POWER! says:
IS.

GAY POWER! says:
SO. CUTE.

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
...HE

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
IS

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
GAY.

GAY POWER! says:
GAY POWER!

GAY POWER! says:
i shall become a man!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
!!!!!!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
oh dear.

GAY POWER! says:
why?

GAY POWER! says:
i think it' d be fun.

GAY POWER! says:
J TOH, HERE I COME!

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
....

cat. <3 rgschoir; irreplaceable.- so follow your heart. says:
good luck on that sweetheart

Sam (: - 5/29/2006 06:18:00 PM

Sunday, May 28, 2006

i want choir.
CRAVINGS. i have cat cravings. singing cravings. and eliza overload. (:

psb interview tomorw!! i hope i can make it.

Sam (: - 5/28/2006 09:09:00 PM

i miss jiali.
vic is going away for cap.
peiying is sick.
mishy is going away for cap+church thingy+kl trip.

sigh its a sad week.

we will rock. les sirenes!

+++++++++++++++++++++

i hope you get well. i hope the test turns out negative.

I love you a lot, even though i dont say it.

please, dont leave us.

Sam (: - 5/28/2006 08:20:00 PM

Saturday, May 27, 2006

rawr. haha this is our funny conversation at starbucks. (:

Me: hi i am sam. wanna have a good time? ;)

eliza DIAL 999!

ME: I only charge $45 an hour.

eliza: value for money! buy two get one free! for a limited period only.

me bring your own toys for extra pleasure.

terms and conditions apply:
if you're the hot model in the Zara ad at Ngee Ann City, we wont charge!

i was damn scared the tissue on which we wrote the conversation would drop out of my pocket and people would be like. O.O

okay.

i love you and i hope we can get through this.

Sam (: - 5/27/2006 07:52:00 PM

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER BITCH RIGHT NOW SO FOR GOODNESS SAKE DONT TAKE IT TO HEART.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

just because i slept more than you doesnt mean i m not tired or i dont have the right to say i m tired right wtf.

i somehow get the feeling that a lot of people actually hate me but they act all ooh i love you too kinda thing. its kinda scary.

Sam (: - 5/25/2006 11:06:00 PM

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

"You say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day"

okay i have made an exception for this mainstream song. (:

i love choir. i dont know what i wouldnt do for it.

just because i dont have a car, i dont think thats reason enough to look down on me.
you can look down on me because you dont think i am a good person, because i have low morals, whatever, but i dont think you should look sown on me for superficial things.

i ve learnt to accept it, why cant you?

and to all the wonderful people: i love you so much, so much. i m sorry if i ve been a bitch this week, but i hope you understand. i love you eliza.

WE WILL ROCK SOMETHINGOOD.

i know i say this a lot, but i really appreciate you guys.

Sam (: - 5/23/2006 08:24:00 PM

Monday, May 22, 2006

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.

[ ] I have been to Europe.
[2] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[3] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[4] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.

[5] I have played ping pong.
[6] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[7] I have seen fireworks.

[8] I have seen a shooting star
[ ] I have seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I have almost drowned.
[9] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

[10] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[ ] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[11] I have stayed up 'til 2 doing homework/projects. (That's what Rafflesians DO, man.)
[12] I currently have a job. (Occupation = student. I DEMAND MORE PAY!)
[ ] I have been ice skating. (I did not enjoy it.)
[13] I have been roller blading.
[14] I have fallen flat on my face.
[15] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[16] I have been in a fist fight. (I have violent tendencies.)
[17] I have watched the Power Rangers.

[18] I attend Church regularly. (YYP = love. YYP conference = love-r!)
[19] I have played truth or dare.(Quote: "Quote: "who hasn't-_-"")
[ ] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[ ] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[20] I've called someone stupid. (She didn't want to be friends with me after that.)
[21] I've been in a verbal argument.
[22] I've cried in school. Many times.
[23] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[24] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[25] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.

[27] I've climbed a rock wall. (albeit badly.)
[ ] I've lost more than $20. (I dropped my wallet in the toilet bowl TWICE. In ONE WEEK.)
[28] I've called myself an idiot. (Refer to number 28.)
[29] I've called someone else an idiot.
[30] I've cried myself to sleep.
[31] I've had (or have) pets. (Poor little Venus.)

[32] I've owned a spice girls CD.
[ ] I've owned a Britney Spears CD.
[ ] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[33] I've owned a backstreet boys CD.
[34] I've mooned someone. guiqi i think. CONCERT! (:
[35] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[ ] I've been on TV.
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[36] I've eaten sushi. (Yum yum.)
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[ ] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[ ] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[ ] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[37] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.

[38] I've been called a geek.
[39] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. HAPPENS all the time
[43] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[44] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[45] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[46] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[47] I've written poetry. (Again. "albeit badly".)
[ ] I've been arrested.

[48] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[49 ] I've been tickled till I've cried. cat? i was rolling on the floor.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[50] I've had/have siblings.
[ ] I've been to a rock concert.

[51] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[ ] I've been in a play.(Though not recently.)
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[52] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.

[53] I've cried in front of my friends.
[54] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[ ] I've freaked out over a sports game. (Netball carn!)
[ ] I've been to Alaska.

[55] I've been to China. (MY MOTHERLAND!)
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've had a fight with someone on AIM.
[56] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[57] I've had serious conversations on any IM.

[58] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[59] I've been forgiven.
[60] I've screamed at a scary movie. (I don't subject myself to horror flicks.)
[ ] I've cried at a chick flick.
[61] I've watched a lot of action movies. (Sucks to have a brother.)
[62] I've screamed at the top of my lungs
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.

[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[63] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[64] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[65] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[ ] I've been in a car accident.

[ ] I've done drugs.
[ ] I've been homesick.
[66] I've thrown up.
[67] I've puked on someone. (Sadly, not yet. THE TIME WILL COME!)
[68] I've been horseback riding.

[69] I've filled out more than 10 myspace/LJ surveys.
[70] I've spoken my mind in public.
[71] I've proved someone wrong.
[72] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.

[ ] I've broken an arm/fingers.
[73] I've fallen off a swing.
[ ] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight.
[74] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[ ] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.

[ ] I've lost my backpack.
[ ] I've come close to dying.
[ ] I've seen someone die.
[75] I've known someone who has died.
[ ] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point. (i.e. NOW)

[ ] I've done modeling.
[76] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings. (Eww. Halitosis, much.)
[77] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[78] I've realized how good my life is.
[79] I've counted my blessings.
[80] I've made fun of a classmate.
[81] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.

[82] I've slapped someone in the face.
[ ] I've been skateboarding. (And contrary to popular belief, I did not injure anyone while doing it.)
[83] I've been back stabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[84] I've lied to someone to their face.
[85] I've told a little white lie.

[ ] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[86] I've fainted.
[ ] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[87] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[88] I've been pushed into a pool.
[89] I've been/am in love. Deborah the dinosaur! cat!

Sam (: - 5/22/2006 10:50:00 PM

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM GOING TO SO FAIL PHILO.

and why do i smell rotting bananas?

Sam (: - 5/22/2006 10:38:00 PM

WTF. a hundred words to go before i hit the minimum word count?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

die philo journal!

Sam (: - 5/22/2006 10:34:00 PM

WTH YOU GUYS ARE EVIL! its unethical to force people to talk to you! for your own twisted pleasure! ):

TWISTED! LIKE A TWISTY!

freak i failed math. can you believe! math! the stupid 12 mark graph screwed me up. rawr.

"sex bomb, sex bomb, you're a sex bomb
and baby you can turn me on."

i think its hilarious. (:

Sam (: - 5/22/2006 08:52:00 PM

Sunday, May 21, 2006

RAWR I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A HAMSTER!

is it that obvious i m going on a blogging binge?
just saying.

"i say ben you say jerry's!
i say haagen you say daaz!"
-sam

see i CAN say witty things.

:)

Sam (: - 5/21/2006 07:21:00 PM

okay. i have decided. i am wayyyy to clingy and overobsessed with the sec 4s. so this is my action plan to decrease my clingyness:

I will not talk and have msn conversations with the sec 4s and chanel for a month! wahha so smart right?
if they talk to me i have to fine myself a dollar.

yay! i must train my discipline!

Sam (: - 5/21/2006 07:12:00 PM

I have a shitload of things to do. Like:
Math Ws 8(done)
Math ws 8 self-practice
Math Ass 2 (done)
Math ws9 [next math lesson]
Math ass 3 (question 4 not done) [next Thursday]
Math practical 2 [next math lesson]
Geog (Hilda taba) pt [Thursday]
Geog (individual) pt [Thursday]
Geog self-reflection pt [not sure]
Eng book review [hols]
Chinese book reviews (2) [hols]
Chinese newspaper review [hols]
History SBQs [hols]
Art. [weds]
si1 han2 [not sure]
Chinese filing [fri?]
Literature filing [Thursday or Friday]
Eng pt self- reflection [Friday latest]
Eng pt peer evaluation [Friday latest]
Copy bio slides from Inet [nil]
Copy bio notes into my sci notebook [nil]
THE proposal [31st may]

ARGH. GO AWAY!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
die geog die.

Sam (: - 5/21/2006 07:07:00 PM

ohmygosh today has been so freaky.

FREAKY INCIDENT #1:
i was just sitting on the toilet bowl pooping, and i saw a insect. a HUMONGOUS GIGANTIC SHINY ICKY thingy. so i was like OH SHIT okay i will shit faster so i can run out. and two seconds later... IT WAS GONE! and i was like AHHHHHHHHH!! WHERE DID IT GO! okay on to..

FREAKY INCIDENT #2
on the overhead bridge i saw two spiders and they were damn freaky. nuff said.

FREAKY INCIDENT #3
i checked cat's old blog and i got a blog about a teenager documenting her sex adventures. okay not in the recent ones but yeah. i was like CAT WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?? okay it was scary.

okay. haha today mass was funny. the priest was like " love your neighbours. i didnt say like your neighbours, i said love. you cannot like bad things. you cannot like a bad smell."

Sam (: - 5/21/2006 06:53:00 PM

Nobody like me,
Everybody hates me,
Im gonna eat some worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Long thin slimy ones
Lets go and eat some worms!

I miss choir.
I miss ___

I m sorry if you’re one of the people who I keep calling up and talking to for the sake of making me feel liked. I m selfish that way.

I wish someone loved me.

This is stupid. I am starting to hate cathecism because in there I turn into this sulky grumpy bitch who goes no I don’t want a seat. Its okay.

I hate those people. I hate me.

See she wont even respond. I knew it.

ARGH I M SORRY ALREADY. April-july is samantha’s annoying analytical season.

I love you.

I think Chanel hates me. And about a gazillion other people.

I said I m sorry!

Sam (: - 5/21/2006 02:29:00 PM

Thursday, May 18, 2006

grah i just realised this belt isnt mine. its soft and squishy and NO WONDER ITS SO LOOSE. i thought it was because i lost a lot of weight. SIGH.

Sam (: - 5/18/2006 07:04:00 AM

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

OMFG i hate myself. i hate crying my face gets all patchy and my eyes get blotchy.
i tell you, i can just walk around the school in daytime crying and people will run away screaming.

i love you. i love you. argh. i love you chanel and cat and eliza and peiying and mish. <33

wahlao that toktok story was so damn SCARY i didnt bathe last night leh.
i just used wet wipes. okay i know disgusting but ARGH I M DAMN SCARED OUTSIDE MY BATHROOM WINDOW THERE'LL BE HER FACE OR SOMETHING LAH. and now i m scared of my darlie toothpaste in case the darlie face smiles or winks at me or something.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. and cat you didnt call wth. and you never tag my blog! okay i have a sudden infatuation with cat.

i sort of want technicals though in a crazy way cause my voice is shitty. BUT I DONT WANT CAT LAH DURING TECHNICALS SHE ALWAYS GETS THIS CONSTIPATED LOOK then you're like shitttt is my voice THAT BAD?

yeah so i dont want cat. for technicals. CONSTIPATION .

okay so the green men diddnt rape us. YAY! <33

Sam (: - 5/17/2006 07:07:00 AM

Monday, May 15, 2006

i love RG CHOIR. i just want to say its the times that try you the most that make you realise that passion is such a precious and IMPORTANT thing and with it life is stupid and meaningless.

I wouldnt want a life like that. when i look back to last year the choir auditions i know that i was so lucky to have found a cca where i can really let go. my haven.

all i remember of bel canto was lights applause and pink spangly too-short dresses.
its ALL over. its starting to sink in now, but not fully. The thought that after another two years we have to leave choir is a NIGHTMARE.

geesh everything sounds so stupid and GRAH STUPID when i write it down. sam is not good with words.

grah 2.4 in 50 minutes.

DIE NAPFA DIE.

Sam (: - 5/15/2006 02:38:00 PM

Saturday, May 13, 2006

i love rgs choir.
love.

i just cant belive its all OVER. i know i ve been saying this for so long right, but its true.

and like vic said. the stage just has this MAGICAL feeling when you step on it.

4 years just isnt enough.
NEVER.

Sam (: - 5/13/2006 08:07:00 PM

Friday, May 12, 2006

its over. says:
im just so scared.
its over. says:
and numb.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
about?
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and ohdear.
its over. says:
what are we gonna do after the seniors leave
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we'll all survive, and they wont even be gone so soon!
its over. says:
i cant rmb life before them
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
its a natural process, everyone has to say their goodbyes once in a while.
its over. says:
and i cant imagine life after them.
its over. says:
i will cry like crazy.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we'll all be really sad dear!
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
but then again they HAVE to go one day.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:):
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and sometimes i get reallyyyyyy sad too,
its over. says:
i dont want to think about it.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
when some major change occurs in my life.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
cus i don't like changes?
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
but noone does.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and so we'll all just have to bear this together.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
its part of growing up.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and don't think about it then.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
you have your own choice.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we're all really affected by concert,
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
especially since we did so well. [:
its over. says:
i just want to bury my head in a hole and make that thought go away.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
it will.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
give yourself a week's time.
its over. says:
i m just happy because this year i think i ve gotten more involved.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
yes. ME TOO! imean. this MONTH i think.
its over. says:
last year i wasnt really close to the sec 4s.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
not year.
its over. says:
last year it was like.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
oh. yeah. we still have a few more months to go la.
its over. says:
huh whats going on.
its over. says:
and we were like living in dreamland.
its over. says:
so it was lucky last year concert went so well.
its over. says:
i guess next year the sec 1s will be like us.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
you had the sec4s remember.
its over. says:
and i m scared.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
yeah.
its over. says:
when we're in sec 4
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
no you shouldnt be.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we're ALL gna be sec4s/
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
together!
its over. says:
there'll be no one to guide us and lead us.
its over. says:
i dont know what choir will be like.
its over. says:
i love choir so so so much.
its over. says:
like next year.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
we still have time. and i don't think im in much of a place to comment, because im only STARTING to love choir.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
its hard for me too, yknow.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
imean it takes time for me to adapt.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
and concert was really fun.
; showed me what it was to cry, says:
so im on my way to where you are [:

Sam (: - 5/12/2006 05:06:00 PM