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sept 28 '92
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to remain in choir and be able to maintain my passion for singing
to be a JSL
to have a 3.5 GPA
to pay attention in class
to exercise more GAHHH


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    Sunday, June 25, 2006

    [::..RETURN OF THE CHEESY PICK UP LINES!..::]

    1. Is your name McDonald's? 'cos I'm lovin' it.
    2. I've lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
    3. Is there a cashier nearby 'cos I'd like to check you out?

    courtesy of vic.

    I AM SO AMUSED! YAY! YAY! YAY!


    Sam (: - 6/25/2006 03:26:00 PM


    Thursday, June 22, 2006

    today's choir getogether thingum was really fun. okay so un-descriptive but i am kinda sad. okay double whacko i had quanquan to protect me. and IT WAS ANNOYING BECAUSE QUITE A LOT OF PEOPLE CALLED ME AND QUANQUAN DIDNT HEAR IT LOTS OF TIMES AND I WAS LIKE wriggling on the floor and patting her legs! and screaming. okay patting her legs sounds weird.

    okay i shall not talk about charades and the blanket game because i didnt really participate so whatever.
    --------------------
    STATION GAMES!
    whee! okay uhm first station was the library. ms loo and nina chun which was quite a bland way to start off but oh well. sixuan was quite fast! and good.

    uhm second station was the groping station. (: anyway it! was! disgusting! because we were blindfolded and the area was disgusting and dusty and everything. and wanjoo and geet were like we saw a lizard and a spider. i hate spiders. and i was super ickified AND I FELT SOMETHING MUSHY IN MY HANDS! which turned out to be the air rifle board cloth. and suddenly geet and wanjoo started screaming. for no reason. so OBVIOUSLY i screamed. geesh.

    then jac's station. blah.

    THEN CAT'S STATION! okay actually it was 12 already. but i really wanted to go to cats station because everyone said it was really fun. AND THERE WAS CAT! but i didnt get to sqeeze her butt. and it was SO RETARDED. i mean when we opened the door cat did the ghost long hair thing. and then we watched this video which was stupid because we were SO TIRED. and i was the guy. AHH SO RETARDED! AND I LAUGHED DURING THE SECOND VIDEO. sigh.

    okay everything i post here sounds so juvenile and stupid. wahlao RS MENTOR hello can you choose a more appriopriate moment to talk to me? she took like 20 mintues and all the nice food (i.e. nuggets and stuff) were gone and all i had left were 2 fishballs and cold noodle (which i didnt eat because hello? it was COLD).

    THE SEC 4S ARE LEAVING! WHAT HAPPENED TO PRAGUE! okay the sec 4s are leaving! urgh. damn i will miss them a lot. but like vic says, i have to DEAL WITH IT. :(

    ------------------------------------------------------------
    the prata shop opposite CCAB closed! i mean it moved somewhere else but it doesnt matter. you know guiqi and i were like ohmygosh prata we are so hungry! yayyayyay! AND IT WAS CLOSED! THE DOORS WERE CHAINED! agh.

    i have a feeling that my choralfest group is gna rock! (: cause our group is really small and we're really lively. okay they are because i was REALLY drained from station games. AND MY LACK OF LUNCH. rawr. they all think i look really 'sian' and dao.

    sigh i think they think i am a proud uptight 'typical' rgs girl. ):

    ah.

    Sam (: - 6/22/2006 09:04:00 PM


    Tuesday, June 20, 2006

    The splendor of a King
    Clothed in majesty
    Let all the earth rejoice
    All the earth rejoice

    He wraps Himself in light
    And darkness tries to hide
    And trembles at His voice
    Trembles at His voice

    How great is our God, sing with me
    How great is our God, and all will see
    How great, how great is our God

    Age to age He stands
    And time is in His hands
    Beginning and the end
    Beginning and the end

    The Godhead Three in One
    Father Spirit Son
    The Lion and the Lamb
    The Lion and the Lamb

    How great is our God, sing with me
    How great is our God, and all will see
    How great, how great is our God

    Name above all names
    Worthy of all praise
    My heart will sing
    How great is our God

    How great is our God, sing with me
    How great is our God, and all will see
    How great, how great is our God

    Sam (: - 6/20/2006 12:22:00 PM


    tomorrow is! somethingood! and i have a feeling that it will not be something very good. eliza! will! not! be! there! that already causes me to panic. and then i find out:

    PEIYING LOST HER VOICE! ah!ah!ah! why. and i needneedneed to buy a new red top because that top was uhm gross and tight. and made me look like a man, and from a crossbreeded monkey hamster (monster/hamkey)...

    i became a male monkey and hamster ---> MANSTER

    noooooooo! argh. i am so maluated! somethingood was.. very interesting. i looked like a freak! like a jogger! or something! it was BAD. and we did sectionals dance. IT! WAS! SO! MALUATING! and we didnt know the lyrics so we just doo-doo-dooed. AND THE PEOPLE WERE SMIRKING AND SNORTING. arghhhhhhh!

    and tomorrow we have to busk IN FRONT OF OUR SENIORS. hello its maluating enough to throw away all shreds of dignity in front of complete strangers, but now in front of people we know? AH!AH!AH!

    okay. after somethingood i walked around with eliza and then i found out i had to go eat dinner for some family gathering. IN MY BUSKING COSTUME! which was tight and icky and my relatives were like thinking i was totally. uhm gross? IT WAS SO TIGHT!
    but dinner was good. and cheap! like 330+ bucks for 11 people!

    DAMN. i feel annoyed because a lot of people are being ambiguous on their blogs and i think they are talking about me. not good.
    --------------------------------------------
    CHURCH CAMP was really good. PRAISE AND WORSHIP! yay. how great is our god is still playing in my head over and over. it was kinda exciting to go straight from church camp to busking when i was still on a CHURCH HIGH! okay i was past the point of fatigue.

    church camp i didnt sleep at all. it was SO DAMN. COLD! but the church is really really nice and clean. everywhere was really cold and we had to walk around in shorts and i had no jacket! argh!

    Sam (: - 6/20/2006 12:05:00 PM


    Friday, June 16, 2006

    ARGH. i have verbal constipation. like everything i say starts with 'ugh geesh gah argh or uhmmm'.

    i have a headache.

    i am damn lonely. and bored. i dont know what to do for zuo wen.

    its like damn no one wants to talk to me suddenly.
    i have a headache.

    ow. i am dreading church camp.

    damn cant you take this seriously for once? i mean, your lousy excuses are well, annoying. i want to blog a lot about this here but then people will be like oh sam i dont like you anymore blahblahblah.


    i cant take anymore of this shit. I have had enough of shit swallowing. and i found out that my grandfather is possible having an affair. WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM MAN MY GRANDMOTHER IS DAMN NICE LAR. what is up with you men.

    Sam (: - 6/16/2006 10:40:00 PM


    Thursday, June 15, 2006

    1. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
    2. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
    3. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
    4. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
    5. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
    6. Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."


    then, of course the fantastic one that mish knew:
    "my name is jin1 wan3, but you can call me tonight"

    and mine and mish's
    guy: "i have two words i want to say to you. i love you."
    girl: "that's three what"
    guy: " but you and i are one"

    GRROAN.

    GROAN.

    Sam (: - 6/15/2006 08:47:00 PM


    first up was the repertoires. i watched for at least TEN minutes okay. not bad. but i didn't even know what they were singing. then i started to yawn and my eyes started to close. for goodness' sake they were singing songs that you listen to before you sleep. i was dying. qi was clapping so loudly, wj was screaming (literally), and i was caught in the middle. i swear i need to bring tape if i'm ever going to another concert like this. they even had to uhh. warm up their voices to scream. rj's dance performance kept me awake. i think that was the highlight of the concert. the busking groups were pretty good as well.


    zomg. how insulting is it when you here that your guest performance was the highlight of the night? right.

    Sam (: - 6/15/2006 07:34:00 PM


    http://kevan.org/johari?name=samm%20(:

    do it! (:

    Sam (: - 6/15/2006 05:44:00 PM


    my worst nightmare has uhm occurred/ come true or whatever.


    I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN CHURCH AND CHOIR!
    arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    i know like you're supposed to place God over earthly matters. like, invest in your afterlife! cause God will be with you after you die, but uhm choir wont.

    like i might be a better singing angel in the choir(s) of heaven. okay i have this image that all people do in heaven is walk on clouds. and sing. and that all angels are blond.

    OH WAIT. THAT'S ONLY IF I ACTUALLY GET INTO HEAVEN. which i wont. because i swear. a lot. ARGHHHHH.

    okay maybe choir will help me. like i can sing really high and hopefully all the (hopefully) glass doors of hell will shatter. and i will BE FREE! oh wait im not a sop. ARGH.

    ARGH THIS IS SO!!! not good for sam because she doesnt not make decisions well.
    --------------------------------------
    WHY I SHOULD GO FOR SOMETHINGOOD:
    1. i won't enjoy myself at choir camp or experience God worrying that something will go drastically wrong without me (again wishful thinking because that's only for important people. sigh)

    2. because there will be a LARGE imbalance in altos. like 2 to 5 sops. and when eliza sings the you cant hurry love solo, sixuan will have to sing the harmony alone.

    3. I DONT KNOW ANYONE IN CHURCH CLASS WELL. i m like this SHY person. hello, sam shy?

    WHY I SHOULD GO FOR CHRUCH:
    1. because i have a duty to God because he created us. and i should place him before anything else in my life (i.e. CHOIR). ---> because i should.

    2. because i should.

    3. because i should.



    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. looking at the list. i should go for somethingood. maybe this is a test from God. like if i choose somethingood then i have to go straight to hell. i like life very much thank you.

    DAMN.

    Sam (: - 6/15/2006 05:28:00 PM


    Wednesday, June 14, 2006

    you know this is not good. i feel more guilty about eating so much fried food today and yesterday than slacking off. whoops!


    okay i still have to do

    - complete WGP
    - do bio reflections
    - chinese zuo wen
    - eng book review
    - pythygoras thorem ws1-4
    - do second chinese book review (can someone tell me how many we have to do each semester or else i have no reason to do a second one)

    Sam (: - 6/14/2006 09:27:00 PM


    DAMN. samantha is dangerous around a bag of chips.

    I JUST ATE 30 GRAMS OF FAT.

    ahhhh.

    but the buffet yesterday was good. i sort of went crazy with the miso soup. eliza knows. (:


    LOVEEESSSSSSSSS!

    i am a love junkie.

    SOMETHINGOOD!

    18th june!
    shaw underpass
    11-6


    21st june!
    shaw underpass
    2-7


    wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    Sam (: - 6/14/2006 08:52:00 PM


    Monday, June 12, 2006

    okay i got this from vic'S REALLY old post. i dont bother to do the numbers so.

    What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?
    299. Jack: the fat man in the nacho show. you know the superman one? ew.
    300. Tiffany: the jewelry store!
    301. Ben: a very fat, hairy and greasy guy in briefs. used-to-be-white-and-now-yeellow-briefs.
    302. Maria: the tennis player?
    303. Jennifer: Aniston.
    304. Nicole: uhh my best friend's cousin. or the girl in our class who is really cute.
    305. Amy: I don't know.
    306. Adam: the naked guy in the bible who sinned.
    307. Richard: GERE! IS! SO! CUTE! especially in the visa ad.
    308. Justin: the guy with frizzy hair in american idol season 1.
    309. Arnold: a red-headed freckled kid.
    310. Tom: cruise. ew.
    311. Melissa: spoiled brat.
    312. Charlotte: blond angelic kid.
    313. Harold: again, the greasy guy picture.
    314. John: CONNOLLY! he was a really good lit teacher.
    315. Joel: the wimpy goody goody.
    316. Vanessa: a pudgy pale girl.
    317. Michelle: the ice-skater.
    318. Kevin: ew.
    319. Brent: uhh is that a girl or guys name?
    320. Jake: uhh i dont know.
    321. Billy: Hillbilly.
    322. Sarah: My cousin, former best friend and two of my seniors.
    323. Natalie: spoiled angelic kid.
    324. Christy: annoying name.
    325. Nick: used to be a hot name. But isn't now.
    326. Linda: a teacher. those soft-spoken shy teachers.
    327. Taylor: That grey-haird guy on AMI.
    328. Jordan: UM i dont know.
    329. Jamie: that weird local actress
    330. Adrian: umm that icky local actor.

    SEVEN THINGS IN YOUR R00M :

    1. bed
    2. study table
    3. Bed
    4. mutilated barbies
    5. closet
    6. Tons of books
    7. A mirror

    SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:

    1. Oxygen. You can't trick me.
    2. Food and water. You're not gonna get me again.
    3. My Family
    4. Friends
    5. choir
    6. life!
    7. GOD <333 But He's not really a "thing" so I didn't know whether to include Him.

    SEVEN THINGS 0N YOUR MIND:

    1. what a lazy ass i am.
    2. busking. somethingood.
    3. peiying! come home now!
    4. my mom and brother. they're in china. the house feels so empty.
    5. WGP!! argh.
    6. incognito. WHY CANT WE BE LIKE THEM?
    7. RS LIT REVIEW! die.

    SEVEN OTHER THINGS:

    Do You:
    1. Believe in God? Most certainly.
    2. Had a dream come true? Nope.
    3. Read the newspaper? yes. almost everyday.
    4. Pray? Yes.
    5. Have a job? i want to, but no.
    6. Go to church? I most definitely do.
    7. Wish on stars? huh. no?

    Have you ever:
    1. cried cause you were happy? yeah. once. okay i sound like a crackhead.
    2. kiss someone of the same sex? ELAINE!FIONA! no wait she kissed me.
    3. Swam in the dark? yeah at my brother's bithday party.
    5. Ran away from home? ew. no.
    6. Played strip poker? ZOMG NEVER! censored!
    7. Pulled an all nighter? what's a all nighter.

    SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU:

    1. Cried? No.
    2. Had fun? not really.
    3. Been kissed? nope.
    4. Felt stupid? Yes. the busking practice that was cancelled today. and saturday night. the microphone thing. sigh.
    5. Talked to an ex? um no.
    6. Missed someone? my mom. and brother. and peiying. and choir.
    7. Hugged someone? yes. ITS WHAT I DO!



    Stole the next one from vic. again.

    you're supposed to get below 60 points in total to be considered an angel.

    1) smoked
    2) consumed alcohol
    3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
    4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
    5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
    6) made out with someone of the same sex
    7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
    8) watched porn
    9) bought porn
    10) done drugs
    TOTAL: 5

    11) taken pain killers
    12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
    13) lied to your parents
    14) lied to a friend
    15) snuck out of the house
    16) done something illegal
    17) cut yourself
    18) hurt someone
    19) wished someone to die
    20) seen someone die
    TOTAL: 7

    21) missed curfew
    22) stayed out all night
    23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
    24) been to a therapist
    25) been to rehab
    26) dyed your hair
    27) received a ticket
    28) been in a wreck
    29) been to a club
    30) been to a bar
    TOTAL: 1

    31) been to a wild party
    32) seen the Mardi Gras
    34) had a spring break in Florida
    35) sniffed anything
    36) wore black nail polish
    37) wore arm bands
    38) wore t-shirts with band names
    39) listened to rap
    40) own a 50 cent CD
    TOTAL: 4

    41) dressed gothic
    42) dressed prep
    43) dressed punk
    44) dressed grunge
    45) stole something
    46) been too drunk to remember anything
    47) blacked out
    48) fainted
    49) had a crush on your neighbor
    50) had someone sneak into your room
    TOTAL: 6

    51) snuck into someone else's room
    52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
    53) been to a concert
    54) dry humped someone
    55) been called a slut
    56) called someone a slut
    57) installed speakers in your car
    58) broke a mirror
    59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
    60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
    TOTAL: 6

    61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
    62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
    63) cruised the mall
    64) skipped school
    65) had an eating disorder
    66) had an injury
    67) gone to court
    68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
    69) caught something on fire
    70) lied about your age
    TOTAL: 4

    71) owned an apartment
    72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
    73) cheated with someone
    74) got in trouble with the police
    75) talked to a stranger
    76) hugged a stranger
    77) kissed a stranger
    78) rode in the car with a stranger
    79) been sexually harassed
    80) been verbally harassed
    TOTAL: 5

    81) met face to face with someone you met online
    82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
    83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
    84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
    85) been to a fair
    86) been called a bad influence
    87) cursed
    88) prank called someone
    89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
    90) cheated on a test
    TOTAL: 6

    91) cheated on homework
    92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
    93) been pushed into a pool
    94) played pool
    95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
    96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
    97) had a crush on someone younger than you
    98) wear eyeliner
    99) skinny dipped
    100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
    TOTAL: 8



    oh. 53. thats. quite bad. RAWR! NOOOOO i am an angel! an angel i say!
    right.

    Sam (: - 6/12/2006 05:26:00 PM


    Wednesday, June 07, 2006

    i mean, i treat this place as a place to vent my thoughts and stuff, so i dont think i should be criticised for what i write in here.

    FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

    i cant believe it just because i treat a situation a certain way and i care for her AND I SHOW IT i get critised?
    -------------------------------

    URGH. i mean, i slept late too. and i had to wake up early. urgh i was kinda pissed cause I WAKE UP EARLY PRACTICALLY EVERY MORNING TOO. and you just take like what, 5 minutes? ughhhhhhh i hate it.
    ------------------------------

    I AM A FUCKING BITCH NOW. yes i even said THE word.

    i think today is the worst day of my life.

    and please shut up and FUCK OFF and do not tag my blog to say that my day isnt that bad. there are things that happened that i did not post up here.

    geesh. i need to get rid of these emo posts.

    Sam (: - 6/07/2006 06:39:00 PM


    Monday, June 05, 2006

    i m just so glad its over.

    i know things will never be the same between us but well, we can try.

    you know when i went to your blog, and i was waiting for the thing to load, i was debating, should i close the window? because if you posted about how you hurt and were confused or just wanted to give up on our relationship, i didnt want to see it.
    but if you didnt blog, i was scared that it meant that this meant so little to you that you didnt even bother to blog. i guess that yes, i didnt trust you enough, even though i wanted to.

    you know when i saw your post, i cried again because i was so happy. and i love you i love you i love you. i cant say it enough, but i hope you get it.

    our conversations were magical. they always seemed too short, too short.

    ---------------------

    oh and thank you suet. i think it was quite funny that we both were talking to you and i said i cant tell you who she is. and you knew who she was and you played along. you're wonderful. :) i love you!

    i really missed you during our break. even though it was for less than a day, it was way too long. yes, it was just.. different.

    well, i think our friendship has been true, but its just there are some things i feel i cant talk about to you sometimes and it feels like there's a really big wall between us. i hope we can change that. i m afraid peiying, sometimes of what you think of me, because the person i am in choir is not really the person i am at home.
    okay this sounds weird. i need to call you. now.

    i love you peiying.

    Sam (: - 6/05/2006 08:46:00 PM


    this is a note that i wanted to give or mail to you cause i really didnt know what you were thinking.

    i just feel like everything i m doing now iw wrong.

    i want to love, and be loved in return. i m sorry, you were always there for me but now i cant be there for you.

    i guess this is the true test of our friendship, and if we get through this, it'll just bring us closer. but if we dont.. well i dont want to this about that, but i just want to know i never blamed you for this or anything. because we cant help what we hear, and we cant help being affected by them.

    its a tough time you have to go through, and well, i just want to say i understand. i m disappointed, but i understand. i woke up this morning and the first thing i thought of was you and i got a bit angry. like i said above, we cant help what we hear.
    -------------------------------
    on a lighter note,

    DRAKE: dad has a woman problem.
    JOSH: dad has cramps?
    DRAKE: i think he's .. seeing another woman.
    JOSH: seeing another woman do what?


    AHHHAHAHHA.

    Sam (: - 6/05/2006 07:39:00 PM


    Sunday, June 04, 2006

    you know if you love someone. it doesnt mean you guys must always be together, every single moment.

    you have to trust that person, when she says that she loves you. because otherwise if you cant trust that, then you dont have a basis for a friendship. and you have to trust in yourself, that you have a friend like that, and that shes going to be your friend regardless of what.

    in other words. its just a lot of trust. and for that. you need to be really strong. and most imptly. you need to trust yourself.

    suet.
    --------------

    thank you suet and you've helped me more than you know.

    Sam (: - 6/04/2006 11:04:00 PM


    i would give anything, ANYTHING to make your mind clear again.
    i want to hug you or call you or something to make you feel better.

    but you're gone.

    and i m missing you already.
    -------------------
    i look back and i cry.

    my heart is weary and hurting.

    but i dont know whether you ever cared.

    Sam (: - 6/04/2006 10:50:00 PM


    i m not angry at you. i can see that you're confused. but i am disappointed.

    i want whats best for you. and its okay if you hate me.

    i love you and i just wish all of this yould blow away. its like the world's weight of evil has come crashing down on me, and soon i m not going to be able to hold it up anymore.

    i need love.

    its coming true after all. i AM a clingy, overanalytical girl.

    -------------------------------------------

    i just want you to know i never intended to do anything wrong. like i said, no one wants to make mistakes.

    it's okay. i am a horrible person.

    ----------------------------------------------

    i dont deserve what i had anyway.
    i knew i was just too lucky to have had a friend like you.

    everyday i thought, i thanked God for such wonderful people i have around me.
    it was just too good to be true.

    its too hard. i need time too and i could never hate you for what you did for me.

    i really mean it when i say this.

    i love you.

    Sam (: - 6/04/2006 10:38:00 PM


    Saturday, June 03, 2006

    i need a new skin.

    AHAHHHA ELIZA PEED TODAY! IN CARL'S JR!!

    yuck and i saw this woman's netty thong. HELLO no one wants to see your holey thong.

    ew.

    and the library was so hot!!
    the glass panels totally heat up the room i was sweating like crazy.

    Sam (: - 6/03/2006 10:08:00 PM


    i need a new skin.

    AHAHHHA ELIZA PEED TODAY! IN CARL'S JR!!

    yuck and i saw this woman's netty thong. HELLO no one wants to see your holey thong.

    ew.

    and the library was so hot!!
    the glass panels totally heat up the room i was sweating like crazy.

    Sam (: - 6/03/2006 10:08:00 PM


    Friday, June 02, 2006

    you said you'd be there for me.

    and you werent.

    i dont know what to say anymore. you've disppointed me more than i can say.

    -----------------------------------

    a conversation from the 40-Year old virgin
    GIRL: do you have protection?
    GUY: i dont carry guns.


    AHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAH i think its so amusing.

    Sam (: - 6/02/2006 10:50:00 PM


    Thursday, June 01, 2006

    argh i want my birthday to come. nownownow! i demand.

    i really need to change my template.


    -----------------------------------

    "What I have to offer Jacob comes FROM Jacob, if that makes sense. And what he offers is because of me. We bring out the best in each other. I have an attentive, adoring audience I can count on. I can dare and take risks and walk on the edge. I can't fail, as long as I'm with him."


    -travelling light-

    this book is super sad. ahh its like brokeback mountain. except better.
    yes it is about gay guys.


    but its so sad.


    ahh i love this book.

    -------------------------------------

    Sam (: - 6/01/2006 07:19:00 PM