today's open house just made everything so real. you know at the ny concert,peiying said, what if we get silver and i thought it was outrageous. and today made everything clear.
you know what its just so hard to keep discipline. i know i am one of those people, maybe the only one who keeps on telling themselves that 'oh i want to bring the discipline up' then at the next choir prac its like oh WHO'S PULLING UP PEOPLE'S SKIRTS? WHO'S TALKING AGAIN?
but its so hard, because you love rgs choir so much, and you love all these people in it. I mean oh dont talk for the whole choir practice. i mean, choir will be so dead and our singing will be so dead. I love singing a lot and it is one of the main reasons why i love RGS choir so much.
its so sad because you can see that this week the choir's atmosphere has been well, kinda tense. And that's just the beginning. Hopefully.
this post is so contradicting and stupid because i am feeling very confused right now about what i am feeling. i love the rgs choir a lot, and i do want to brign the discipline up, but it really requires an iron will. I mean its like usually throughout the week, especially seniors, you usually see them with their friends so its quite maluating to suddenly rush up to them and grab them in all sorts of weird places and proclaim your love for them. Then suddenly you see all these people that you havent talked to for quite a while and i am filled with so much love.
i hope i can exercise more self-control. BLEAH THIS IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE ALL THE OTHER POSTS. this is very disappointing.
and its really sad how our batch is very clearly starting to break up into very clear cliques.
the power struggle thing is really starting to show in our batch. what she said today really made me realise that.
Sam (: - 7/15/2006 08:38:00 PM